


What's the Worst that Could Happen?

by Zaivex



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling, Harry Potter and the Cursed Child - Thorne & Rowling
Genre: Casual Ableism, Fake/Pretend Relationship, Genderfluid Teddy Lupin, Hard of Hearing Hugo, M/M, Mentions of homophobia, Multi, Not Harry Potter and the Cursed Child Compliant, Post-Hogwarts, Sign Language, Slytherin Albus Severus Potter, Slytherin Scorpius Malfoy, Wedding, fake dating au, hard of hearing character, james is not an asshole
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-08-01
Updated: 2018-11-28
Packaged: 2018-12-09 21:14:55
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 9
Words: 24,170
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11677206
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Zaivex/pseuds/Zaivex
Summary: James' wedding is around the corner and Albus Potterwillbring his own date. Hypothetically. So what if that's technically a lie to stop his cousins from setting him up with every gay guy they meet? He'll figure the whole mess out. Hopefully.





	1. Chapter 1

Please check one: ◽️single ◽️plus one

Albus glared at the invitation in his hand before flinging it down onto the table and throwing himself into a chair. There it was: the absolute confirmation that James was getting married. It was evidence of the world's madness, he mused, that James was getting married before he was. James "I will never settle down" Potter was in a serious relationship while Albus lazed around in his one-bedroom flat alone, save for his cat Malcolm. And really, how had the prat managed it? How had he managed to convince America's star seeker to marry him? It didn't make sense that James, immature childish James, found love. It wasn't fair.

Realizing how petty he sounded, Albus scowled again and got up. He started to pace around the room and argue with himself about whether or not he was obligated to go.

"He is my brother, after all," he said out loud, making Malcolm look at him owlishly from his perch on the back of a chair. "And it's his special day or whatever. It's kind of an obligation, right? I have to toast him or something?" Malcolm just blinked. "You're no help," he grumbled at the cat. "Then again he probably won't miss me with all the people. Mum might be pissed though. At least he didn't ask me to be in the wedding party."

Walking to the table, he picked up the invitation again and looked at it. The plus one glared back at him tauntingly and he dropped it again, groaning.

It wasn't that he wanted to settle down--he was perfectly happy being single--but the reaction he knew he would get from his family alone about his extended single status made him want to skip the wedding completely. He hadn't had a boyfriend for at least five years, and over the past year, his family had taken it onto themselves to get him a date. This meant that every other week or so someone would call or write with an offer to set him up with a coworker or a friend's brother or something. At first, he appreciated their help, but after months of failed blind dates, the offers seemed less helpful and more annoying. Nothing he had said so far had stopped their constant meddling so he found himself avoiding large family meetings where they could all gang up on him and discuss his love life, or lack thereof.

“Do you think they would notice if I just didn’t go?” he asked Malcolm, who answered with a wheezing cough.

Albus looked at Malcolm hacking up a hairball onto his chair. Maybe he could pretend he was sick. A good case of wizard pox might do it... Mott had become a healer, maybe he would write him a fake write up for old time's sake. But would the retribution from James and everyone when they found out he had skipped out be worth it in the end? It might just be easier to go and get it over with.

"I'll call Rose, she's good at this sort of thing," he told the hacking Malcolm and picking up the mess of wires and metal that made up his homemade phone. It was one of Teddy's first models, an old one from back when Albus was in his first few years of Hogwarts, but he loved it enough to refuse a new slightly more usable one. The phone, which pulsed purple and let off a dull humming sound from the number of complex and unidentifiable spells placed on it by Teddy to make it work around magic, had been slightly disassembled in the process of making it work. It therefore resembled less of an ordinary Muggle flip phone and more of two pieces of plastic and metal attached by a mass of wires and what looked like glitter glue.

Albus waved his wand over it absent-mindedly to make a holographic keypad appear in the air above it. He punched in Rose's number and was pleased when she picked up immediately, panting slightly.

"Al, why don't you take Teddy's offer to make you a new phone? This one always makes mine hum and glow when you call, it's most inconvenient."

"Hello to you too, Rosie," Albus returned cheerfully, grinning despite himself. He did miss seeing Rose on a daily basis now that she was the head of Muggle relations. "Is this a bad time?"

"No, no, you're fine, she replied, sounding harried. "One of the new interns managed to set Carnage's desk on fire and well, you know how Carnage gets when his stuff is touched. And they set it on fire, of all the..." She sighed and trailed off. "My job is troublesome enough without having to deal with incompetent teenagers." Albus laughed. His cousin deciding to go into Muggle relations hadn't really been a surprise for him, even when she rose to the top in a few short years. If he remembered correctly, She’s the youngest head of a ministry department. "Speaking of incompetent teenagers, how are you?" She teased, bringing him back. "You haven't called me in ages."

"It's been a week Rose, don't exaggerate," he replied with an affectionate eye roll. Rose had an affinity for the hyperbole. "Besides you were busy with that orphan thing. Didn't want to distract you."

"You’re sitting and staring at that wedding invitation again, aren’t you. And you want to know whether or not I think you should go?" She asked, demonstrating her ability to simultaneously change topics abruptly and guess exactly what he was thinking.

"Well... Yeah, pretty much," he responded, feeling a bit foolish for being so transparent. "It's just Molly has been calling me almost every week now and I think I'll go mad. I'm surprised she hasn't called yet, come to think of it."

"Oh she will,” Rose promised, sounding as if she was running. "She has her hands full with the triplets right now but I bet she'll call you as soon as she has the time."

"So should I go?" Albus asked her, hoping she knew of a way she could get him out of this.

"I know this isn't what you want to hear Al but I think you should go," she replied over the sound of something breaking. "He is your brother, and you should really show him support. He's probably really nervous."

Albus frowned; he hadn't thought about that. James had a tendency to freak out right before big events. Before he played his first game of Quidditch at school, he had flooed home in a panic and it had taken Albus ten minutes to calm him down before James made him promise to come watch the game and never tell anyone about that moment. He had never found out how James had access to a floo as a second year, come to think of it.

"But the press will be there," he complained half-heartedly, knowing already that he was convinced. He would be a complete ass if he missed his brother’s wedding just because he didn't like being in the papers.

"All the more reason to go," Rose reasoned. "Do you really want another influx of articles about how you're breaking away from the family or something? Think of all the fan mail."

"Point taken. Alright, I'll go, but if anyone talks about my lack of a date I'm going to poison them."

"That's my little Slytherin," Rose snorted. "Glad we've sorted that out. Now I'm sorry but--OI! Exactly what do you think you’re doing, Beeks? Put that Niffler outside before I shove your wand so far up your--" The line shut off mid-yell, cutting off the end of Rose's threat that Albus had no doubt she would follow through with. How a ministry job was that exciting, he didn't know, but Rose was always full of stories about maniacal interns and judging by that call, he didn't doubt them.

"So it looks like I'm going," he told Malcolm in a resigned voice. "You could have talked me out of it, you know, but Rose beat you to it." He stared at the cat for a moment before shaking his head. "Merlin I need a hobby." Summoning his Muggle coat from somewhere behind the couch, he waved at Malcolm and headed for the door. "I suppose I'll go buy the happy couple a wedding present. Don't wait up, I'll probably stop by Flourish and Blotts. Do you think James might like a sixth-year Transfiguration textbook? There's a sale." Before he could make it out the door, however, his phone rang again.

He didn't worry about who it was, as only family and a select number of friends had his contact, but picked it up with a wave of his wand. To his displeasure, Molly's loud voice came through the speaker.

"Albus? Are you there?" Sighing in resignation, he sat down in the chair and answered her.

"Yeah, I'm here," he replied, hoping but not particularly caring if she picked up on the annoyance in his voice.

"Oh good! I was wondering, do you have a date to the wedding yet? Imagine, James, getting married! I don't quite believe it, do you? I never expected him to settle down before you."

"Uh huh," Albus retorted dryly. Molly didn't need him to talk, he just had to grunt occasionally. But right now he didn't have time to listen to her. "Listen, Molls, I was just on my way out the door. I really need to go shopping, can we do this another time?"

"Oh I'll only take a moment of your time then," she replied with a small laugh. "There is this dashing foreign wizard working with my department that I thought you'd be interested in. He doesn't speak much English but his nonverbal magic ability is frankly astounding and he always wears these strange looking cufflinks I think you'd be interested in. I could ask him if he wanted to go to the wedding with you if you like."

"No thanks Molly," Albus answered through clenched teeth.

"Oh, don't be like that Albus. You need to live a little! How old are you now? And when is the last time you went on a date? It doesn't have to mean anything, it could just be a little fun. Let me ask him for you," Molly continued, ignoring Albus' protests.

"I really don't need you to do that," he insisted darkly. Why did she have to bother him, of all people?

"Albus you're wasting your life away. I'm going to ask him for you, it will do you some good. I showed him your picture the other day and he was certainly interested, so--"

"Actually I already have a date," Albus interrupted loudly.

He could barely hear Molly's surprised "oh!" Over his own muffled swearing when he realized what he had just said. Of all the stupid, illogical... But Molly was talking again.

"...didn't realize you had already procured your own date, I don't know what I'll tell Bradley..." Bradley? Merlin, even his name sounds prat-like. Molly always picked the worst boys. But what had he gotten himself into now? How was he supposed to get out of this one?

"Listen, Molly, I've got to go. I'll see you at the wedding, yeah?" He interrupted her rambling, ignoring her protests and hanging up the phone. He looked at the phone as if it was its fault for his sudden moment of Gryffindor-like stupidity. He heard a meow and saw Malcolm giving him a skeptical look as he licked his tail meaningfully.

"Oh yeah? Why didn't you say anything to stop me then?" He retorted tetchily, ignoring out of habit the absurdity of talking as if Malcolm was actually insulting him.

With a groan, he got back out of his chair and made his way to the door for the second time. He might as well get his shopping out of the way.


	2. Chapter 2

On his way to Diagon Alley, Albus pondered the situation. He could have apparated, of course, but he preferred to walk to clear his thoughts. By now Molly would have told the whole family that he had a date, so there was no use just checking single and pretending she was delusional. No, everyone would expect him to bring someone. He could tell them they broke up, but then James would get on his back for wasting a spot that could have been for some famous star or reporter or something. Maybe he should just bring someone as a friend, although he had very few friends outside of his family and fewer still that liked his family enough to go with him. Everyone got along with Alyss, and she was always polite. Maybe he'd just ask her if she'd want to go. 

Entering Diagon Alley, he headed first for the quidditch supply store. Both James and his fiancé were avid quidditch fans, the latter being a professional player. 

He picked up a nice quidditch essentials kit from a brand he knew James loved and then went to buy a box of reusable, self-cleaning plates nextdoor before starting down the road to Flourish and Blotts. He hadn't realized how late it was, and to his disappointment Flourish and Blotts was already closed when he got there. Cursing under his breath, he spun on his heels and stalked off in the other direction, not really looking where he was going. This was the shitty ending he should have expected from this disaster of a day. Still swearing to himself as he half walked, half ran down the street, he realized it had started to drizzle. Really, could this day get any worse? He wrapped his jacket tighter around himself and continued on faster. 

A startled shout warned him a second too late as he ran head first into the solid form in front of him, sending both himself and the other person sprawling onto the wet ground. Their packages fell around them as well, some of them opening and spilling their contents onto the ground around them. The man Albus had ran into cursed loudly and sat up, clutching his head and looking at his spilled packages, distressed. 

"Sorry," Albus moaned from his position on the ground, also looking around at the mess. Among his items, there were dozens of books, the ones that had fallen out of the box slowly becoming saturated as it continued to rain. 

"Watch where you're going, will you?" The other man snapped angrily, kneeling and hurrying to pick up the fallen books. Albus knelt as well and helped him pick up his books. 

"I did say sorry," he returned, standing up after filling the second rather large box of books. It was always good to lighten the mood when you knock someone down in a dark street. He didn't know how the man had carried them both boxes by himself, the one he held now seemed like it was too much for him. "And for all I know, you ran into me. Why weren't you looking where you were going?" 

"Don't blame me for your innate clumsiness, Potter," the man drawled, and for the first time Albus looked at his face and realized who it was. Scorpius Malfoy, son of Draco Malfoy and former Slytherin housemate.

"Good  _ running into you  _ too, Malfoy," Albus replied with a wink. Puns always cheered him up. 

"As always, your taste in humor is abysmal," the taller man remarked while shifting his weight, trying to get a better grip on his box. 

"So where are you taking these?" Albus asked, pointedly ignoring the jab at his highly amusing pun. 

"Why, are you planning to have me followed?" Scorpius responded. He raised one eyebrow and looking at Albus appraisingly. 

"Well I figured I'd help you out, since according to you it's my fault we fell," Albus retorted, trying and failing to copy Scorpius' impressive one-eyebrow stare. He waved his wand and the box on the ground levitated in front of him along with his own packages of James' wedding presents. 

Scorpius looked at him for a minute before shrugging and levitating his own box. 

"To a shop, this way," he answered finally, heading down the street the way Albus had come at a brisk pace. Albus hurried to keep up with him and after a few rain-clogged minutes he found himself outside a small shop he had overlooked in his haste to get out of the rain. It looked fairly new and there was a dim light coming from somewhere deep inside. Malfoy fumbled with his keys for a second and opened the door, letting them into a cozy-looking bookstore. 

"You can put the books down on that counter over there," he called over his shoulder as he walked further into the shop and took off his coat and sweater. Albus tried not to stare at Malfoy's arms as he threw the coat carelessly onto a comfy looking chair. Albus set the box where directed as Malfoy performed a silent charm, siphoning the water off of himself and making it disappear with a flick of his wand. 

"You?" He asked, gesturing at Albus with his wand. Albus nodded and spread his arms as Scorpius performed the same spell on him and vanished the water with the same flick of his wand. "Thank you for your help, Potter. Don't feel obligated, but you're welcome to stay and look around."

Albus barely heard him, so absorbed was he with his surroundings. He was in a small but extremely full bookstore, and every possible surface was covered in books. Besides the bookshelves, the chairs, the floor, and the desks were all covered in books, some in boxes, some in piles and heaps. 

"Is this your place?" Albus asked Scorpius in amazement, turning to look at him. The other gave him a half smile. 

"It is indeed," he replied, and Albus could hear the note of proudness in his voice that he expected came not with being a Malfoy but with accomplishing something of his own. Scorpius turned to look past a towering bookshelf.

"Keito," he called, and a smart-looking house elf dressed in a green tunic and matching hat appeared in front of him, clicking his heels importantly. 

"Master called?" The elf named Keito asked, looking at Scorpius but glancing curiously at Albus out of the corner of his eyes. 

"Keito, the new books came in but they're all wet," Scorpius told the elf, going to sit behind the only clear desk that Albus could see and getting out a quill and parchment. "Unfortunately, this buffoon here," he gestured to Albus, "ran into me on my way back and knocked all those poor books to the ground. Could you get them out and start drying them? I have to write Mister Hemd a quick letter and then I'll join you." Keito clicked his heels again and saluted Scorpius before scurrying over to the boxes, giving Albus curious looks all the way.

Albus stood there awkwardly for a moment, but when it was evident that Scorpius was absorbed in his letter he walked over to the house elf and offered his help. 

"It's my fault they're wet," he reminded the elf when he protested. The two of them stood next to each other in silence, occasionally sneaking looks at each other. 

"I'm Albus," he said the third time he caught the elf staring at him. 

"Keito," the elf said with a stiff nod of his head. 

"So do you belong to Malfoy, or...?" He wasn't quite sure how to talk to a house elf, having almost no experience. No one he knew had a house elf. 

"I pay him to work for me, Potter," Albus heard behind him. "My father gave him to me as a gift on my seventeenth birthday and I didn't want to give him up in case it caused... Complications. So I pay him."

Albus looked at the other man as he continued drying the books. Scorpius was staring back at him with a calculating look, one Albus remembered all too well from their time at school together. They had been in the same house and year but hadn’t been friends, exactly. They were cordial enough to each other but no one in their right mind would call them mates. Albus remembered the first time he had introduced himself to the Malfoy boy. It was right after the feast in their new dormitory and Scorpius had given him the same calculating stare before refusing to shake his hand and promptly closing the curtains after getting into his four-poster. He had come up to him later in the week and stiffly but politely apologized and they had always been civil after that, but the calculating look and standoff behavior had never left. Albus knew his every action was being examined for any motive or threat he might pose. Not that Albus had ever planned to do anything to him, but James had always enjoyed trying to pick fights with the Malfoy so he supposed the cautiousness was warranted. 

To break the tension, Albus spoke again. “How did your father even come to have a house elf? The last I knew the Malfoys didn’t have any in their possession.”

“A friend of my father was recently married to a woman who dislikes house elves. It was a rather...delicate situation, and the house elf was given to my father to settle that bit of argument. My father had no use for the elf himself, so he gave him to me,” Scorpius answered finally, still staring at Albus. 

At the mention of a marriage Albus scowled, remembering why he came to Diagon Alley. He thought of the problem he had set himself up with and dried the book a bit more forcefully than necessary, making the pages flutter loudly as he sent it soaring into the pile of dried books. Scorpius must have noticed his change in attitude because he raised one of his eyebrows again, inviting him to explain.

“What would you say to getting a drink with me?” Albus asked in response, surprising himself for the second time that night. “Consider it payback for causing this mess.”

Scorpius narrowed his eyes and surveyed him, obviously not understanding why he would offer such a thing. Knowing exactly what he was thinking, Albus rolled his eyes.

“Relax, I’m not planning on murdering you in a dark alley or anything. I could just really use a drink and drinking alone always ends with me snogging some random bloke or waking up in a stranger’s apartment,” Albus assured the suspicious looking Scorpius. “And according to you it’s my fault this mess happened, so let me make it up to you.”

“Keito can finish the books if master Scorpius wishes to go out,” Keito squeaked from somewhere near Albus’ waist. Scorpius looked at the elf with a small frown but nodded, shifting a little.

“Alright Potter, let’s go get a drink. You can buy,” he decided finally, moving towards the door. “Keito you’re free to do whatever after you finish those books. Thank you.”

“Albus,” Albus corrected as he watched Keito bow to Scorpius.

“Pardon me?” Scorpius replied, looking as if Albus had lost his mind.

“My name is Albus, not Potter,” Albus elaborated, following him to the door. “You can call me Albus.”

“Well  _ Albus _ ,” Scorpius retorted with a smirk. “Buy me a drink before I change my mind.”

The two walked down the nearly deserted alley in amicable silence. It struck Albus that he didn’t know where they were going.

“Do you have anywhere in particular you want to go? I know a nice muggle pub if not,” he offered, preferring not to go anywhere in the wizarding world but willing to if Scorpius had somewhere in mind.

“I do not. Lead the way to this muggle place,” Scorpius said with a shake of his head. He was being surprisingly complacent about the whole thing, going along with Albus. Albus had thought he would have to convince Scorpius to come out with him, but maybe he needed a drink as much as Albus did. 

“Do you mind side apparition? I can take us right there,” he suggested. When he received permission and Scorpius grabbed his arm tightly, Albus spun on the spot, appearing outside a ordinary looking muggle bar. They walked in together, Scorpius still looking wary. Albus saw his hand twitch towards his wand more than once. 

"Alright Al? You want the usual?" The man at the bar called loudly as they approached. 

"Hey Ben, sure," Albus replied to the friendly bartender, throwing himself at a table next to the bar and gesturing for Scorpius to do the same. 

"And who is this?" Ben asked, looking Scorpius up and down. 

"Just a friend, Ben," Albus said warningly. 

"I'm Scorpius," Scorpius said, surprising Albus by reaching over and shaking his hand.

"And what can I get you, Scorpius?" Ben asked, grinning and not-so-subtlety checking him out. 

"I'll have a martini," Scorpius replied smoothly, finally sitting down. Albus looked at him in surprise for the second time in the last minute. A Malfoy with knowledge of muggle drinks? He'd have to tell Rose, she'd love it. 

"So, you end up snogging blokes?" Scorpius asked once Ben had let to get their drinks. "How does that work?"

"Well see snogging is when you--"

"Shut up smartass, not what I meant," Scorpius interrupted with an eye roll. "Why do you end up kissing random people?"

"Malfoy, did you just call me a smartass?" Albus said, mock hurt. "I didn't know it was in your vocabulary."

"Answer the question, smartass," Scorpius retorted, looking around the tastefully decorated bar and restaurant. There were a few families sitting at the tables but it was otherwise empty, which was to be expected at ten on a Tuesday. 

"Dunno," said Albus, looking around to avoid looking at Scorpius. "I get really drunk, find a hot guy, and spend the night avoiding responsibilities and usually doing something I won't remember in the morning."

"I'm surprised, Potter. I wasn't aware you were..."

"Gay?" Albus offered with a small smirk. "Queerer than a two-tailed snake, as James likes to say."

"I was going to say irresponsible," Scorpius returned with a smirk of his own. "You just let yourself go home with any random person? Do you know the lengths people would go to kidnap the son of Harry Potter?"

"Why do you think I pick muggle bars?" Albus retorted, gesturing around them. "Besides, it never gets so bad that I can't defend myself. I think." Scorpius just rolled his eyes again. He was prevented from speaking by Ben coming over with their drinks. 

"Drink up, mates," he said cheerfully, giving Albus a wink and leaving them to take care of a couple that was ready to leave. 

"And I'm rather good at dueling, even when I'm a bit pissed," Albus continued, taking a long drink gratefully. 

"I believe it," came the quiet reply. 

Albus stared at Scorpius. He had always fascinated Albus at Hogwarts but he had kept his distance, not making many friends and spending a lot of his time in the library. He never picked any fights or let himself be goaded into dueling, even though James had tried many times. Albus had never tried to fight him, but his offer of friendship had been rejected too. So why had Scorpius agreed to come out with him tonight?

"Didn't your mother teach you that it is not polite to stare?" Scorpius interrupted Albus' thoughts. 

"Not really," Albus replied absentmindedly but averted his eyes anyways when he noticed Scorpius looking uncomfortable. 

"Does it bother you?" He asked suddenly, focusing on Scorpius' uncomfortable pose. "That I fuck dudes?"

Scorpius looked like he wasn't going to answer. Albus turned back to his drink and drained it, gesturing to Ben for another.

"I should think it wouldn't," Scorpius finally answered, swirling his glass in a would-be casual way. "I'm not that straight myself, as my dear old grandfather likes to remind everyone daily." Albus stared, not believing what he just heard. Malfoy, not straight?

"What?" Was his loquacious reply. It was Scorpius'' turn to smirk. 

"I would think that's pretty self-explanatory, Albus," he told the still-dumbstruck man, enjoying his surprise. 

"Yeah, I just..." He had never, in all of his days, thought that Scorpius Malfoy could be anything but straight. “Your dad?”

"He likes to pretend that it's just a phase or a rumor. Can't have the Malfoy line end, see," he said airily but with a hint of steel that told Albus he wasn't as okay with it as he seemed. 

"Sucks," mumbled Albus in condolence. Although his family was annoying as hell about his romantic life, at least they accepted that he liked guys. Scorpius shrugged silently. He already knew it sucked. 

"So why haven't I heard about your blatant homosexuality?" Scorpius asked, changing the topic slightly. "I'd think the Prophet would have written a huge article."

"I may have jinxed a few people," Albus said coolly. "It's not really their business, is it? Also, I have a few friends who work there. I like to keep those people far in my debt so pulling some favors isn't that difficult." Scorpius nodded approvingly--he did the same kind of thing. 

The two sat in silence for a while, drinking and watching as the bar filled up with night shift workers. Albus looked down at his own drink, wondering vaguely how many he had already had. 

"So why did you need a drink so badly?" Scorpius broke the extended silence.

"Wedding," Albus grunted with a scowl, staring longingly at his empty glass and looking around to find Ben. "James is getting married and I may have accidentally told Molly I was bringing a date to shut her up. Now I have to find someone desperate or stupid enough to come with me."

"Desperate or stupid?" Scorpius asked, looking vaguely incredulous. "May I ask why?"

In response Albus made a sweeping gesture, gesturing to himself in all his drunken glory. "I'm a mess, mate. Always have been always will be." Scorpius just frowned and took another sip of his drink. 

"So you need a date to a wedding? Why not just ask someone who owes you?"

"Everyone knows my family is crazy," Albus groaned, banging his head against the table. "They would flat out refuse. Not to mention most of them are painfully heterosexual."

"Hmm." Scorpius looked unconvinced. "Whatever you say, Albus."

"Bennnnn," was Albus' only response, his head still on the table. Ben hurried over with another drink, looking faintly worried. 

"Are you bringing him home after this?" He asked Scorpius in a whisper, but Albus wasn't paying attention. He had taken to trying to stack the condiments resting at the end of the table on top of each other but kept miscalculating the distance and dropping them too soon. 

"I suppose I'm going to have to," muttered Scorpius, looking at the drunk Albus. "Can't have the chosen one's son passed out drunk in a muggle bar." Ben looked confused but didn't say anything about it. 

"Well good, because I don't know where he lives," Ben called over his shoulder as he walked away. 

"Hear that, Potter? I have to take you home," Scorpius said loudly to get the other's attention. 

"N' Potter. 'S Albus," he grumbled in response, throwing a sugar packet at him and missing by a foot. 

"And with that coherent sentence, we should go," Scorpius announced, standing up and walking around to help Albus out of his chair. Albus resisted for a minute but grudgingly allowed himself to be pulled out of his chair. 


	3. Chapter 3

"Okay you're gonna have to help me with this part because I don't know where you live."

"Nggg," was the only answer, but Albus shoved a piece of paper into Scorpius's chest.

"Is this your address?" Scorpius asked, taking the paper gingerly. "Do you always keep your address on your person?" It was somewhere in muggle London, he knew that, but it was otherwise unfamiliar. They could take the Knight Bus, but Scorpius wasn’t very fond of that particular jerking way of travel. He was begrudgingly thankful for the mandatory year of Muggle Studies that accounted for his knowledge of Muggle transportation.

Letting Albus lean on him slightly, they stood outside the restaurant while Scorpius hailed a cab and showed him the address. The ride was spent in silence except for random exclamations from Albus when he remembered something funny or interesting. Scorpius, who was rather intoxicated himself, only partly listened to Albus’ chatter.

When they arrived at the modest-looking flat, Albus seemed to perk up.

“I’ve never had anyone from school here ‘cept some people who helped me set up,” he told Scorpius excitedly. “Come in!”

Shaking his head and thinking Albus acted more like a seven-year-old than a grown man, Scorpius followed him into a reasonably sized room.

“Make yourself at home,” Albus encouraged, moving his arms more than necessary and sitting down in his armchair. Scorpius, ready to go home but not knowing how to extract himself from the situation politely and frankly not being sober enough to try, sank down onto the large couch that sat facing the chair. Malcolm climbed onto his lap and flicked his tail imperiously, making Albus laugh and Scorpius reach out to pet him.

After a rather awkward silence, Albus asked,“Do you want anything?” making to get out of his chair. Scorpius shook his head but Albus summoned two glasses of water, which zoomed into the room rather shakily, and handed one to Scorpius. He took it gratefully and, after draining it, fixed his gaze on Albus, who was again half sitting, half lying in his chair. Encouraged by the copious amount of alcohol in his system and Albus’ strange hospitality, Scorpius asked about him.

“So what have you been doing? I haven’t seen you around anywhere since Hogwarts.” He hadn’t wanted it to sound like he had been actively looking for Albus at Quidditch games and parties, but he felt it may have come off like that. Either Albus didn’t notice or he wasn’t commenting on it because he only sighed and shifted a bit in his chair.

“I’ve kinda been avoiding any place a reporter could stop and interrogate me,” he admitted with a small grin. “Got a flat in Muggle London, refuse all ministry gathering invitations, refusing to go out in public, you know.”

“Why?” Scorpius asked, nonplussed. As far as he had known, none of the Potters particularly minded being in the spotlight.

“It got to be a bit much,” Albus said with a shrug, absent-mindedly twirling his wand and making it snow. “I mean, there were already all those people following me around and bothering me at Hogwarts and whenever I went into Hogsmeade, and whenever I did anything remotely newsworthy it was on the front page of the profit. Hell, my OWLs and NEWTs were public information. When I left school it got even worse. Random people who I didn’t know were following me around, asking me questions and looking for advice. And the reporters were horrible, always trying to take pictures of me with girls and write about my so-called love life. It was too much. So I left.”

“Oh,” was all Scorpius could say. What was he supposed to say to that? “That has to be hard on family meetings.”

“One of the reasons I’m dreading the wedding,” he muttered with a scowl. “James doesn’t mind the press one bit. Prat.”

 "No, I'm sure he doesn't," Scorpius agreed with an undignified snort. "Your brother has always been one for publicity."

 "You're telling me. You don't know the half of it," Albus complained. "With him and Lily, it's crazy. They both love it, for some insane reason."

 "Glad I don't have siblings," muttered Scorpius as he glanced around the flat. "Didn't have to deal with any of that. Parents only paid attention to me, which I suppose was as much of a curse as a blessing." He seemed to forget that before today, he would never have discussed family situations with Albus Potter.

 Albus shifted in his chair to face Scorpius. "So what happened to you after Hogwarts? I mean I don't keep up with much news, but I haven't heard anything major. What have you been doing?"

 Albus listened as Scorpius launched into an unnecessarily detailed explanation of his life after school, thinking that it would have been nice if they had been friends at Hogwarts.

 ASP

 “Do you remember the time all the hallways turned into rivers for a week and the teachers couldn't figure out how to fix it?”

 They were both sprawled on Albus’ couch now, Malcolm climbing over them and demanding attention. The topic had changed from what they had done after Hogwarts to old school stories.

  “Oh yeah. The teachers kept saying how impressive that bit of magic was and how unfortunate it was that they'd have to expel whoever did it,” Albus replied, staring at the ceiling.

 “That was me.” The proud note was evident in Scorpius’ less-than-sober voice. Albus sat up and looked at him.“I don't know how I got out of that one. I know I left my cloak behind in the teachers’ lounge.”

 “That was your cloak?” Albus interrupted. “I guess that makes sense, now that I know you did it. I thought it was Fred or James who left it there.”

 “Potter, what are you talking about?”

 “The cloak in the teacher's room. I thought it was James', so I got rid of it. I thought he was going to be expelled. Pretty rookie mistake, leaving your cloak to be found. Are you sure it was you?” he asked, trying to look superior but ruining it with a yawn.

 “I’m sure. Made the spell up myself,” Scorpius boasted. “But you got rid of my cloak? That explains the lack of punishment. I guess that means you kept me from being expelled..”

 “I guess it does.”Albus slumped back down and let Malcolm climb onto his lap, absentmindedly petting the attention-seeking cat.

 “Well. I suppose I owe you one, then.”

 Albus waved his hand dramatically, almost catching Scorpius full in the face. “That was years ago. You--wait. What kind of owe?”

 “Well usually when someone says they owe you one, it means they’re willing to do you a favor they wouldn’t otherwise have done.”

 “Malfoy I am way too drunk for your damn sarcasm right now. So you’re gonna do something for me? Anything?”

 “Well, I’m not going to blow you, if that’s what you want...” Scorpius muttered, kicking half-heartedly at Albus.

  Albus jumped up without warning, causing Malcolm fall to the ground with an undignified yelp and Scorpius to jump in surprise.

 “That’s it!” he exclaimed rather louder than necessary, swaying dangerously as he tried to stay standing. “You can be my date to the wedding!” This proposition was met with a confused silence as Scorpius tried to understand what Albus had just said.

 “Be...your date?” he said finally, staring at Albus with undisguised incomprehension.

 “Yeah!” Albus was excited now. “My family hates you, so what better way to get back at them for meddling than to date the one guy they hate above all else?” Ignoring Scorpius’ muttered _harsh_ , he plowed on. “You owe me, and I need a date. It fits perfectly!”

 “Your definition of perfect needs some serious reworking,” Scorpius groaned, covering his face with his hands.

 “I’d protect you, don’t worry. They wouldn’t be able to seriously hex you with me around,” he promised, trying to look intimidating but just managing to look constipated. “Besides, you get to annoy my family. Isn’t annoying Weasleys what Malfoys do best?”

 Scorpius just groaned again, rolling so he was facing away from Albus. Finally, he turned back to him.

 “Fine, whatever, but we’re talking about this again tomorrow. It’s too late and I’m too damn drunk to make any binding commitments right now.” And with that, he rolled over and promptly fell asleep.

 “What? You’re just going to--okay,” Albus finished when it was evident that Scorpius was no longer awake. “I’ll just...yeah,” he trailed off lamely before stumbling from the room to crash in his room, asleep before he hit the bed.

 ASP

 When Albus awoke the next morning, it was to a terrible hangover and an angry Malcolm. The cat pawed at his face while making as much noise as possible, and Albus remembered with a groan that he hadn’t fed him last night. He reached for his wand to get the cat food and realized with some surprise that his wand wasn’t in his pocket or on his bed.

 “Alright, alright,” he muttered as Malcolm dug his claws into his jean-clad leg. Noticing for the first time that he was still wearing his clothes, Albus stripped down to his pants and hurried into the kitchen before Malcolm could try to maul him. After feeding his angry cat, Albus looked through his cabinets for a hangover potion. He downed it in a gulp and set about making himself breakfast. It was only when he sat down to eat, his food in front of him, that he remembered the events of the previous night. Meeting Scorpius Malfoy, getting drunk, talking about school, asking him to the wedding, letting him sleep on his couch... With a start, Albus jumped out of his seat. Scorpius Malfoy had slept on his couch. Scorpius Malfoy, son of Draco Malfoy, had spent the night on his couch. On his _couch_!

 Running to the living room, Albus unsurprisingly found the couch deserted. He did, however, notice his wand lying on an end table and he hurried to pick it up.

 Oh Merlin, he had asked Scorpius Malfoy to come with him to the wedding. What had he been thinking? He hadn’t, of course. He had been plastered. And Scorpius had been too when he agreed. He should call him, right? He should. Scorpius probably didn’t really want to go to the wedding, he had been drunk. Cursing his drunk self, Albus looked around for some clothes and dressed. Since Scorpius probably didn’t have a Muggle phone and Albus wasn’t attached to the floo network, he would have to visit the other in person. Joy. Breakfast hastily consumed as he dressed, Albus was more or less ready to go out in a few short minutes.

 On his way out, Albus noticed the light around his phone was pulsing; he had a message. He already knew what it would be about.

 “Albus! I heard that you have a date for the wedding. Pity, I knew a great guy from work... Do I know your date? Anyways, we’re going to get together at The Burrow a few days before the wedding, do you want in? Grandma Weasley has something planned. Call me back this time! Teddy says hi.”

 Victoire was another one of the cousins who regularly tried to set him up. Still, he liked her well enough. She wasn’t nearly as annoying as Molly.

 Making a mental note to call her back, Albus exited his flat with a sense of dread welling up inside him. What was Scorpius going to say about what happened? He better not try to curse him, everything had been voluntary. Although Scorpius had told him a lot about himself when he had been less than sober... Albus smirked a bit at the memory of Scorpius telling him in detail about how he had come to acquire his shop without his father's help. No, he would not be happy that he opened up so much to a practical stranger.

 Since it was a Wednesday afternoon, Albus assumed Scorpius would be at work so he headed to the shop he had visited last night. It was lunch time but the small store was rather crowded, the shoppers taking their time to stop wherever they were and read. Many of them had halted in the middle of the aisle, making it quite difficult to walk through. Albus wormed his way to the desk where Scorpius was sitting, his nose buried in a book. Albus cleared his throat a few times before Scorpius looked up and realized he was there. He was wearing glasses now, Albus noted absentmindedly. They suited him.

 “To what do I owe this pleasure?” Scorpius asked him, one eyebrow raised. Albus couldn’t imagine that he enjoyed being interrupted in the middle of his book, but he considered this important enough.

 “Just wanted to talk to you about last night,” Albus replied cooly, wondering vaguely if the blond would let him take him out for lunch. It would be better than here, anyways. There were too many people here.

 “I can take my lunch break,” Scorpius offered, setting his book down and standing up. He called for Keito and instructed him to look after the store, and when the house elf had been informed, Scorpius led Albus out the door to a small cafe a few doors down.

 “So what exactly did you want to talk about, the fact that you reveal a shocking amount about yourself when you’re drunk, or the fact that you asked me out?” Scorpius asked as they sat down.

 “What if I wanted to talk about the fact that you are freakishly ticklish?” Albus shot back, wondering what he had said about himself that Scorpius found so telling and annoyed that he had actually guessed his reason to talk.

 “If that is the case then I’ll be leaving right now,” Scorpius promised, glaring at Albus. “And I will deny that until the day I die.”

 “Too late, I already know,” Albus told him with a grin, more to antagonize him than anything else. He could tell it worked.

 “Keep acting like that and I’ll retract my offer to be your date to your joke of a brother’s stupid wedding,” retorted Scorpius, still scowling.

 “So you’re still willing to do it?” Albus asked in surprise. He would have expected the other to at least put up some resistance now that he was sober, if not outright refuse.

 “Of course. An opportunity to piss off Weasleys with the sworn protection of a Potter? How could I resist?” Scorpius was grinning as he drank his coffee.

 “Well...alright,” Albus replied. He half wondered if Scorpius had given him such a quick answer because he knew it would fuck with his head. If that had been his plan, it worked.

 “Where and when, Potter? I don’t have all day,” Scorpius added with a touch of impatience when Albus didn’t say anything else.

 “Uh, yeah.” Albus shook his head to rid the thoughts of Scorpius’ mind games. “It’s in a Muggle park next Monday at three, but you can just come to my flat or I can pick you up or whatever. Dress is Muggle formal attire. Can you do that?”

 “I have a Muggle suit if that’s what you’re asking,” Scorpius said.

 Albus raised his eyebrows. While it was no doubt common for magical folk to wear Muggle clothing on a day-to-day basis, suits were fairly rare. Most wizards didn’t bother due to the price and how little use they would get. Hell, James had needed to get help from his Muggle-born friend when they decided that Muggles were going to come to the wedding. Trust Malfoy to have one.

 Seeing Albus’ skepticism, Scorpius elaborated. “Father has some important Muggle clients. Whenever it was required of me to go with him to a party or a business deal, I was to wear Muggle clothing. I grew fond of them.”

 “Oh,” was Albus’ articulate reply.

 They arranged for Scorpius to come to Albus’ flat before the wedding so they could go over the details of their deception before heading their separate ways. Albus left the small cafe feeling decidedly more cheerful about the wedding. He did, after all, have a date. A date who was sure to piss off the rest of his meddling family.


	4. Chapter 4

The next day found Albus at the Burrow helping to prepare for the wedding. He had underestimated the number of Weasleys who would be at the Pre-wedding Planning Party, as Lily had so eloquently named it. Almost everyone was there, and they were all extremely interested in who Albus had decided to take to the wedding. He managed to avoid any questions about it by busying himself with work until Molly managed to corner him in the kitchen.

“So who did you invite?” She asked him with no preamble, blocking his exit as he made to take take a garbage bag back into the other room.

“None of your business,” was his terse reply. His lack of foresight was really starting to bother him. Of course Molly would be here, and of course, she would ask him about it.

He pushed past her muttered “rude” and got back to work, managing to avoid her by choosing any task she was not on. Unfortunately, that meant he was given some of the less desirable jobs.

Albus was able to ignore Molly and all of his other meddlesome family until they stopped for a lunch break.

“So why don’t you want me to know who you’re bringing?” Was Molly's first loud question when they all sat down in the kitchen.

“Butt out, Molls,” he muttered around his sandwich. “You’ll find out soon enough anyway.”

Albus saw Fred and Roxi snicker. He thought he might have seen a few sickles passed between them but when he looked again he saw no sign of the money. They smiled at him innocently.

“Al likes being mysterious,” Lily said to Molly in a mock whisper, making sure Albus could hear her. “You know what I think? I think he doesn’t have a date.”

“No one cares what you think,” Albus retorted, throwing part of his bread at her laughing form. “And stop laughing, you look mad.”

“Don’t take it out on me that you can’t find anyone to go with you,” came her cheeky reply between guffaws. Albus noticed Fred and Roxi not even bothering to hide their laughter. Molly put on a concerned face.

“Is that true Albie? Because if you don’t have a date yet, I’m sure Bradley--”

“I have a date,” he cut her off shortly. “And you’ll meet him at the wedding. Now, don’t you want to go over the seating arrangement one more time? I don’t think that any of James’ friends should be seated near Domi and her dragon mates, they’ll kill each other.”

The entire kitchen full of Weasley-Potters stared at him for a few seconds before Lucy tactfully nodded in agreement.

"You're right, James' friends always try to show off and every time they make a mess and make fools of themselves. Perhaps Domi's friends should sit over by my dad's important work associates? They might be persuaded to behave that way," Lucy suggested.

"No need to punish Domi's friends like that," Fred joked, and this time Roxi tried to hold in her laughter, causing her to let out a loud snort which she quickly turned into a cough. Lucy frowned.

While the others got derailed from his suggested seating changes to a conversation about whether or not sitting near Ministry officials could be considered a punishment for adults, and then further to the argument of whether or not Ministry officials should even be allowed at the wedding, Albus slipped out the door; he had helped enough. His family was wonderful and he was grateful for them, but he could only stand them all together for short amounts of time.

 

ASP

 

Pacing his flat, Albus tried without success to curb his growing anxiety about the wedding. What if James freaked out that he had brought Malfoy’s heir to his wedding? What if someone fainted? What if Fred tried to hex him and they get in a duel in the middle of the service? Stopping short, he mentally shook his head. He was a Slytherin, dammit, his whole thing was making cunning plans and thinking logically. Things would work out fine. It wasn’t like Scorpius was any real danger, he wouldn’t let him near his family otherwise. He was just cold and sarcastic and a Malfoy. Nothing could possibly go wrong. 

Albus was suddenly aware of how ridiculous he would look if Scorpius happened to show up at that moment: clutching his head, standing in the middle of his flat wearing nothing but his pants. It had occurred to Albus only after their quick coffee shop meeting that he had not given Scorpius a specific time to come over to his flat before the wedding. He was not particularly worried, though, since Scorpius had always been annoyingly punctual for everything during their years at Hogwarts. Still, he should make better use of his time than pacing the room almost naked. And anyway, there were still hours until they were supposed to be at the wedding. 

Not bothering to put on a shirt, although he did don some trousers, Albus sat down in his armchair with his modified muggle laptop and tried in vain to continue his work he had been procrastinating. He knew he should have told Teddy he couldn't write another article, but Albus always had been a sucker whenever his surrogate sibling asked him for a favor. He should have been working on more important and paying jobs, but the articles he wrote for money were never as fun as the ones Teddy asked for. When would Transfiguration Today or The Practical Potioneer have articles on the magical influence on Muggle culture in literature?

Albus was finally immersed in writing an analysis of Muggle portrayal of magical creatures in fantasy novels when Malcolm hissed to warn him that someone was about to knock. Sure enough, a few seconds after the warning Albus heard someone pound on his door a bit more forcefully than necessary. Hurrying to extract himself from his chair, he checked his reflection in the mirror before casually opening the door, a split second before he remembered he wasn’t wearing a shirt. Shit.

“If you’re going like that, I think I’m overdressed.”

Albus opened and closed his mouth wordlessly. He wasn’t wearing a shirt and Malfoy... Malfoy was in a suit. A Muggle suit. A perfectly fitting, completely unwrinkled, Muggle suit. He had not thought this through.

“Are you just going to gape at me all day, or are you going to invite me in like a civilized person?”

The snarky remark jolted Albus out of his daze and he backed into the apartment with a muttered “shit” and a shake of his head.

“Sorry, I got busy and I didn’t know when you’d be coming--here, just sit down and I’ll get dressed real quick,” he assured his guest, pushing some books to one side of the couch. “Don’t mind Malcolm, he’s usually harmless.” Ignoring the amused snort that came from behind him, Albus left the room to put on the clothing he had taken out earlier in the day. He haphazardly threw his suit jacket on over his semi-wrinkled dress shirt while simultaneously trying to tie his tie, resulting in a messy look that was not at all helped when he ran his fingers through his hair as he went back to the main room.

Scorpius, who was sitting on the couch petting a content-looking Malcolm, took one look at his disheveled date and rolled his eyes.

“Honestly, how does anyone take you as a professional?” He asked, nudging Malcolm off his lap and standing up to fix Albus’ tie.

“The perks of working from home,” Albus said lightly, trying to ignore what the close proximity was doing to his heart. “I don’t have to deal with people who judge how I dress.”

“You know it wouldn’t kill you to dress up once in awhile,” Scorpius mused as he adjusted Albus’ collar.

“You know, it might--what are you doing?” he asked incredulously as Scorpius started to comb his fingers through Albus’ hair. It was rather difficult for Albus to ignore the relaxing movement.

“If you’re supposed to be my date,” Albus ignored the little swooping feeling his words gave him, “you can’t be dressed like you just stumbled out of bed,” Scorpius remarked almost fondly, fixing his hair to his satisfaction. “There. Now it looks like you spent some time on it.”

“Wouldn’t the ‘just out of bed’ look just be good for our reputation?” Albus teased, the smell of Scorpius’ cologne making him slightly light-headed. He knew this wasn't a good idea; Malfoy had never been interested in him back in school and honestly, he was way out of Albus’ league. Also, his dad was an asshole.

Scorpius smirked. “Do you really want to give half your family heart attacks? Imagine what the idea of us having sex would do to them.”

“Good point,” Albus replied with a shiver, thinking about how his family would freak out and trying really hard not to think about having sex with Scorpius Malfoy. He took a step back to clear his head.

"Right, we should get going soon. Do you mind side-along again?" He asked, busying himself with looking for the presents.

"Not at all," Scorpius answered easily, watching Albus scramble around the room.

When Albus finally located his presents, he grinned and took out a quill.

“Want to sign the card? Write a little message? I’m sure my darling brother would appreciate it,” Albus directed at Scorpius as he scribbled a quick note on the card.

Scorpius rolled his eyes but took the quill when Albus was done.

“Only to keep up appearances. May I write something inappropriate?”

“Of course,” Albus replied with a grin. Pissing James off was one of his favorite pastimes, and this might just make him choke.

When Scorpius had signed the card and Albus shrunk the presents down to fit in his pocket, he led the way out the door and down a side alley where they could safely apparate without being seen. He held his arm out for Scorpius to take and then hesitated.

"Should we go over when we started dating and such?” Albus asked in response to Scorpius’ questioning look. “I don’t want it to be too long, so they don’t question why I haven’t brought it up before, but it has to be long enough to warrant me asking you to a wedding.” They were Slytherins, after all. If they were going to do this, they were going to do it right.

Scorpius thought for just a few seconds before he grinned.

“Right, okay. How about we’ve been dating for almost three months and you’ve kept quiet because you didn’t want to deal with their reactions. You’re actually about to invite me to live with you, bonus points if you actually do that in front of family members, and we adopted a cat together the other week who currently lives with me,” Scorpius fired off.

“What’s the cat’s name?” Albus shot back, reluctantly impressed at the Malfoy’s quick thinking.

“Echo, but you call her monster. She likes me more.”

“Damn, Malfoy, you’ve really thought this out,” Albus replied, shaking his head.

“Another thing,” Scorpius said. “Don’t call me Malfoy in front of your family, yeah? That’s a bit...impersonal. We’re dating, remember?”

Albus controlled himself so his blush wouldn't be noticed. He already regretted this idea. If all it took for him to blush was Malfoy--Scorpius--reminding him that they were supposed to be dating, he was in for a rough night.

“And you’ll call me Albus,” Albus managed to say when he felt his voice would come out normally.

“That is how names work, yes,” Scorpius smirked, placing his hand on Albus’ arm. Albus silently cursed the way his heart sped up at the contact. “Now I suggest we leave if you don’t want to be late. Unless of course, that is your objective, in which case, continue to prattle on.”

Albus glared at the Malfoy but focused on his destination, spinning on the spot. Before they disappeared completely, he heard Scorpius mutter,

“Continue to blush like that and we’ll have no problem convincing people we’re in a relationship."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Next chapter starts the wedding!


	5. Chapter 5

 

They appeared in a lightly-furnished room with a small pop.

“Damnit, you fuck! You know better than to distract me when I apparate. What if we ended up only half here because you couldn’t keep your stupid mouth shut for two fucking seconds?” Albus shouted, pushing Scorpius away from himself in disgust and patting his body to assure the wholeness of his person.

“I had faith in your abilities, Love,” Scorpius replied with a light laugh, grabbing Albus’ hands and pulling him back towards him. Albus resisted for half a second before realizing what he was doing. Scorpius slung his arm around him casually in a way that radiated possessiveness. He leaned in to whisper in Albus’ ear as they started to walk.

“We never discussed pet names, so I’ll do my best in that area. There was a Weasley spawn in that waiting room--red hair, more freckles than she knew what to do with. I think she broke a glass. It's game on, Potter."

Albus laughed, relaxing into Scorpius’ hold. There was no turning back now.

“Just so you know, Rose most definitely will know that we’re not dating, she knew I didn’t have a date a few days before. And Hugo will figure it out if he looks at us for longer than a few seconds,” Albus warned him, walking out of the building they had apparated to and emerging into the park where the wedding was to take place. The place had been tastefully decorated even if it was a bit cheery for Albus’ preference.

“Hugo’s the weird one, yeah?” Scorpius asked, and then flinched when Albus hit him harder than was friendly.

“Hugo is not weird, at least not any more than the rest of them,” Albus corrected him stiffly. “He’s hard of hearing and he doesn’t do well with paying attention in large crowds. There’s nothing weird about it.”

Scorpius grimaced and rubbed his arm but nodded.

“I get shit like that a lot,” Albus muttered, but he nudged Scorpius where he hit him.

“Sorry. I didn’t realize--that was a fucked up thing to say. It won’t happen again,” Scorpius said.

Albus relaxed slightly. He couldn’t tell if Scorpius was sincere, not really, but the apology seemed genuine enough. And if Scorpius really was an asshole, he wouldn’t have to keep up the charade after that night.

 

They were earlier than most people, despite Scorpius’ worries, and Albus noted with relief that he couldn’t see anyone who seemed to be from the Prophet. At least, not yet. Spotting his parents talking to another couple he vaguely recognized as the bride's parents, he led Scorpius over to them. Might as well get them out of the way first.  

“Mom, Dad, this is my date, Scorpius Malfoy,” he introduced. Harry and Ginny exchanged flummoxed looks.

“It’s a pleasure to meet you, Mister and Misses Potter,” Scorpius offered with a small bow of his head. There was a short silence before Harry stuck out his hand.

“Nice to meet you, Scorpius was it? Sorry, Albus didn’t tell us he was bringing a date. Call me Harry.” Scorpius shook his hand as Ginny rolled her eyes.

“Well I knew he had a date, but he didn’t tell me who. Was this why? You wanted to plan a nice little surprise for your poor brother?” She said reproachfully. “Not that I blame you, Scorpius. Nice to have you here. Have you had a drink? I don’t think anything is spiked yet.”

“I don’t think you can call James poor, Mum, It’s his wedding,” Albus retorted. “And no, I happen to be dating him. I resent the fact that you think I would bring Scorpius here just to cause a fuss.”

“Sorry, Al,” she said absently as she watched Harry excuse himself and walk away with the bride’s parents. “Something’s happened to all of the chairs. I suppose it was someone trying to prank James but the idiots don’t seem to understand that James isn’t actually dealing with these problems.”

Scorpius snorted at her frank assessment of the prankster’s intelligence and tried to cover it by taking a sip from the glass Ginny had summoned for him. Then he winced and put it back down.

“It’s spiked.”

“Merlin’s pants. I knew it wasn't a good idea to have open punch bowls, but those damned Americans insisted. Who did it this time? Where’s Fred and Domi? I’ll bash their heads in this time, I will...” still muttering, Ginny headed off in the same direction as Harry.

“So your mom is cool,” Scorpius remarked after a minute. He and Albus looked at each other for a minute before laughing.

“Yeah, she sure is something,” Albus agreed, watching his mom grab Fred’s ear and yank him with her. It was funny when Fred had been twelve, and it was even funnier now that he was an adult. He tried to ignore the feeling of people starting to notice his date.

“I can’t imagine the look on my mother’s face if she heard the language she used,” Scorpius laughed.

“See? I told you I wasn’t hallucinating!” They heard, before a bunch of shushing sounds.

“Why don’t you introduce me to more of your family?” Scorpius suggested as they turned to see a group of redheads of various ages standing in a clump. “Merlin, but they move in herds.”

Albus elbowed Scorpius and led him over to his cousins.

“Yes Lucy, you saw correctly,” Albus told the girl who had been shushed. “Family, I would like to introduce you to my date, Scorpius Malfoy.” He signed out Scorpius’ name for Hugo. “Right, Scor, you ready? From left to right here there’s Lucy, her boyfriend Harold, Rose I think you remember, Lily, Hugo, Ru, Molly’s kids Alex, Remmy and the third one isn’t here but she’s Meg. Holding Remmy is someone I don't know, hi stranger, and that one’s Louis. Everyone, Scorpius.” Nine pairs of eyes stared at them, except Hugo who grinned at Albus and gave him a thumbs up.

“Nice to meet you,” Scorpius said after a minute. Rose smiled and nudged Harold and Lily, causing everyone to mumble a hello.

“What happened to ‘Malfoys suck,’ Al?” Ru asked as the group broke up and went their separate ways, most of them glancing back to stare at Malfoy. “I never expected you to come home with one.”

“Ah yes. Scor, my sister Ru. She’s a sweetheart, really.” Ru glared at him. “Can I tell you a secret, sis?” Albus asked her in a mock whisper. “Malfoys do suck. This one happens to suck quite well, in fact.” Lily, who had overheard him, roared with laughter as Scorpius hit Albus and Ru covered her ears and pointedly walked away.

“I didn’t ask, is Scor okay?” Albus murmured as they were greeted by other guests. More people were arriving now, and Albus was feeling increasingly uncomfortable with the number of stares they were receiving.

“Scor is fine,” Scorpius replied conversationally as he waved at someone Albus vaguely recognized as from the ministry. “No one else calls me that.”

“Perfect,” Albus replied before realizing what he said. “I mean, it’s good it’s not a name you hate or anything,” he hastened to explain, scowling half-heartedly at Scorpius’ chuckling.

“You know if I didn’t know any better, I’d say you were having fun, with all that laughing you’re doing,” Albus changed the subject.

“I must keep up appearances, darling,” Scorpius returned loud enough for the girls closest to them to overhear. Then lowering his voice, “I am enjoying myself. Parading around with the mysterious Albus Potter as arm candy at a highly-publicized event? How could I not?”

“Oi, I invited you, if anything, you’re the arm candy,” Albus shot back. He turned around and glared when he heard squealing and whispers. “I hate people.”  

“Does that mean you deem me attractive enough to be your arm candy?” Scorpius teased lightly as they took their seats near the middle of the rows. They would have gone for the back, but as Scorpius so aptly pointed out, that’s where the press sat.

“Shut up,” Albus retorted mildly, looking around for Rose. They were supposed to sit together. Rose showed up a few minutes later with Hugo, Lily, and a former Ravenclaw Albus recognized as Kai Foresters. He nodded his greeting to all of them.

“So why aren’t you the best man or one of the groomsmen?” Scorpius asked in a low voice.

“Those rights are reserved for his friends. I know Lily suggested that I do a speech, but I think James stepped in and stopped that. I’m not exactly good with public speaking.”

“Good brother,” Scorpius commented with an approving nod.

“He can be,” was Albus’ only response. Lily hushed them and Albus noticed the ceremony was starting. He settled down and prepared to be bored for a good hour. If it was anything like Molly’s wedding, it was bound to be dreadful.

 

ASP

 

“So that was a bit...unconventional,” Scorpius remarked when the ceremony was completed. “Is it usual in Muggle weddings for the groom to walk up the aisle singing?”

“No, it is not,” Albus groaned, his hands over his face. “You know he said he was going to do that but I really thought he was joking. And Lion King? Really? I can’t be related to that prat.”

“I thought it was brilliant,” Lily added brightly, holding up a phone. “I recorded the whole thing.”

Leaving Scorpius to examine Lily’s phone, Albus made his way to the front of the lawn to congratulate his brother.

When he reached the newlywed couple, James’ face was bright and he was crying a bit.

“You know I’m supposed to be the one crying, right?” Amelia asked with a laugh, nudging her new husband to alert him of Albus’ presence among the wellwishers.

“Fuck gender roles, am I right bro?” James asked Albus, still crying as he pulled his younger brother into a hug. Albus hugged his brother back tightly, horrified to feel a prickling in his eyes.

“Of course, Jamie,” he replied to his corny brother as James laughed or sobbed--he wasn’t sure which--into his shoulder.

“Let the poor boy breathe, James,” Amelia admonished her new husband, gently pulling him off. “I want him to still be alive when I hug him.”

Albus hugged his new sister-in-law as James greeted the other wellwishers with the same enthusiasm he gave Albus. Albus saw the telltale flashes of cameras going off and extracted himself from Amelia, trying to get away before James noticed and made him take a picture for the front page or something.

“Not so fast, Al,” he heard and groaned as James dragged him back, pulling him into a hug which Albus reluctantly returned with a slight grin right as multiple cameras went off.

“Don't want it to look like you don’t care about your big bro, do you Allie-bear?” James teased as Albus tried to get out of the hug.

“That’s exactly what I want,” Albus growled, squirming as the cameras still flashed. He finally managed to release himself from James’ grasp when James was distracted by an old school friend. Albus hurried to get away from the mob swarming his brother and his wife.

“This way, Al,” he heard someone yell and was relieved to find Rose holding Scorpius’ arm up and waving it at him. “Nice setup you have here,” she remarked when he was close enough to hear without her yelling. “Malfoy and all. Didn’t think you would go that far.”

“Bugger off Rose,” he replied carelessly but with a grin as he automatically took Scorpius’ hand and squeezed it.

“Seriously,” Rose insisted, looking at their linked hands. “If I didn’t know better, I’d definitely believe it.”

Scorpius cut Albus off with a nudge.

“Well I’m glad you think our facade could fool the smartest witch of our year,” he told her smoothly, making both Rose and Albus roll their eyes.

“Don't bother, Malfoy, I’m taken,” she retorted, waving her arm in the general direction of Kai. Scorpius scoffed at her.

“Don't flatter yourself, Weasley, so am I,” he replied loftily, swinging Albus’ hand. “Besides, you’re definitely not my type. You know, identifying as a girl and all.” Rose looked surprised.

“Oh, so you’re--? I just assumed that it was for...Merlin,” she finally said, looking at him again. “I never would have guessed.” Scorpius grinned darkly and pulled Albus closer.

“They never do, until it’s too late,” he replied evenly, a bit louder than necessary. Albus turned around to see two Muggle girls whispering furiously to each other while stealing glances at them. He nudged Scorpius.

“You did that on purpose, didn’t you,” he asked, trying to look reproachful but ruining it with a grin.

“I rarely do anything without meaning to, Love,” came Scorpius’ reply. Albus grinned back at him, fervently hoping that he didn’t look as lovestruck as he felt. Although, it would only help their facade.

Albus, still attached to Scorpius at the hand, followed Rose as she led them to the car that would take them back to the Burrow, where the reception would be held. He half expected one of the people staring at them to blurt out a question about their relationship, the way they were gawking so.

"Ignore them," Scorpius advised quietly, and Abus marveled at his ability to know what he was thinking. Was he that easy to read?

"You're glaring," Scorpius explained. "It's unseemly, Potter. Keep it together. Think happy thoughts."

"Yes sir, Malfoy," Albus retorted, annunciating the other's last name and forcing a grimace onto his face. It would be over soon. The reception would be smaller. Fewer people.

The car they took to the Burrow was overcrowded with Weasleys and family friends. It was rented from a wizarding company, so it would not have passed Muggle examination, but none of Amelia's Muggle family members were in it so no one worried too much. As long as no Muggles watched them all get out of the car they would be fine.

Albus didn't even bother trying to introduce Scorpius all of the people crowded into the car. Instead, he tried to focus on breathing and reminded himself over and over again that the car ride would be over soon. Scorpius noticed his forcibly-controlled breathing and took his hand, a concerned look on his face. Albus appreciated the fact that at least Scorpius was playing along. He grimaced at his fake date in a way that was not at all convincing and tried to listen to the conversation being held in an effort to distract himself.

"We did have one mishap where the punch bowl kept refilling itself and a Muggle noticed," Roxy was saying to Rose, who looked concerned. "but my mom made up some bullshit excuse about a new Muggle invention or something."

“At least she’s a quick thinker,” Rose replied. “I know Ginny and Harry went through a lot to make the wedding Muggle-friendly. It would be a shame if someone had to be obliviated just over a stupid punch bowl.”

Roxy’s reply was drowned out by a shout at the other end of the car by one of James’ Gryffindor friends. Albus winced and buried his head in Scorpius’ neck without thinking. He felt Scorpius tense for a second and then relax, putting his arm on Albus’ back. Albus worried a bit about how easy it was for him to touch Scorpius. Who just leans on someone they hardly know? It was one thing to do it to fuck with his family, but that? He had not planned that. It was going to be a long night. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the long wait! Next chapter Teddy comes in.


	6. Chapter 6

Once at the Burrow, Albus let out a sigh of relief. As much as he loved his brother, he absolutely abhorred his love of attention. 

"Come on, there's more family for you to meet," he told Scorpius, entering the already packed house. 

"Albus!” They heard and turned to see two smaller figures running towards them, one dragging the other and both of them laughing. “There you are! I didn't know if you'd made it to the wedding, mate. I half expected you to skip out."

Albus grinned, relaxing fully for the first time that day. “Teddy! What are your pronouns today?” He asked, beaming at the approaching couple.

“She/her,” the shorter of two girls told him as they reached them. Albus rushed to pick up the one who spoke, twirling her around and ignoring her protests. 

"I love it when you're small enough for me to do that! I get to make up for all the times you did it to me as a kid," Albus exclaimed, setting the girl down and grinning like a child. 

Noting that this was the most enthusiasm Albus had shown all night, Scorpius stood back and watched. He didn't know the girl, but that wasn't surprising. She did look vaguely familiar, though. Her dark hair matched Albus', except for the blue tips, so she was probably some sort of relative. What had Albus said about pronouns?

The girl gestured to herself. 

"I'm not allowed to change anything since there're Muggles around, which always sucks. But Vic thinks I’m cute, right?" She said, nudging the other girl and making her blush. Scorpius noticed for the first time that the two girls were holding hands. The silvery-blonde was Albus' cousin, he knew. Maybe the girl was not a relative, then. "Do you like it?" She gave a twirl and Albus clapped. 

"Very nice, Teddy." He laughed. 

"Are you going to introduce us to your date?" Victoire teased, eyeing Scorpius with a calculating look. She definitely knew who he was. 

"Oh, sorry Scor. Teddy, Victoire, this is my date, Scorpius Malfoy. Scor, Teddy and Victoire."

Teddy's eyes brightened and Scorpius suddenly remembered why she was familiar. They had met a few times before. Or at least, he thought they had. Teddy Lupin, who lived with Andromeda. To be fair, it had been over a decade since he had seen her, but he was almost positive that she had been a boy when he had last seen her. Been in a boy’s body? Been presenting as a boy? Had not yet realized that she was a girl? Scorpius was not positive of the correct phrasing. 

"We've met before," Teddy told Albus after bringing a surprised Scorpius in for a hug. "We're actually second cousins or something like that, right?" 

Scorpius' head was spinning. “Yeah, I haven’t seen you since I was about ten," he managed. "And Merlin, I thought you were a boy! Sorry, mate. Ma’am?”

Teddy gave him a half smile.

“Mate is fine. Actually, I’m genderfluid, so it’s quite possible that I was presenting as male when we last met.” Seeing Scorpius’ confused look, she elaborated. “It basically means I fluctuate between different genders. It’s a bit confusing when you first learn about it, so don’t worry too much.”

As Scorpius absorbed this, Albus led him into a cramped sitting room where Fred was standing on a table either giving a speech or telling a story. Albus suspected he probably had had too much to drink. 

They took a seat on a couch next to Lily, who grumbled but made room for them. Albus took off his jacket. 

"And then, without any warning, she flew at him! There James was, minding his own business, and Ms. Amelia here flew straight at him, causing him to fall on his bony arse like so--" the room laughed as Fred demonstrated an over-exaggerated fall. As he bowed to his laughing audience, Scorpius nudged Albus subtly. 

“So Teddy?” He asked Albus quietly so Lily couldn’t hear him. 

“What about her? Do you have a problem?” Albus shot back, immediately protective of his almost-sibling. 

“No problem at all, I promise,” Scorpius assured him with a look. “I’m just annoyed I didn’t know about...her?” Albus nodded. “about her before now. I mean like she said, we’re second cousins. My family must know, I know for a fact that my dad has at least monthly correspondence with my grand aunt.”

“He talks to Andromeda?” Albus asked, looking surprised. 

“Yeah, for a while now. Although like I said before, I haven’t seen Teddy for years. This is probably why. I can’t say I’m surprised,” Scorpius muttered.

“You don’t seem to have a high opinion of your father,” Albus said carefully, watching him. Scorpius just shrugged carelessly.

“We’re very different people,” he replied. “I don’t think much of some of his more... conservative ideas. He's not the most accepting person.”

“I suppose you’ve had to deal with that before,” Albus said, just as carefully. This was extremely personal and Malfoy wasn’t even drunk. 

“Ohh yeah,” the blond snorted. “He’s great at parties. Once he took me to a concert--have you heard of Revenge of the Snidget? And two of the members kissed on stage. He nearly had a conniption. ‘Scorpius, I don’t know what those poufs think they’re doing. It’s one thing to like men, but it’s another thing entirely to express it publicly.’ He used to call us lineage-enders until I told him. Now he just subtly reminds me how it is my job to carry on the Malfoy line.” Scorpius frowned.  

“That has to be hard to hear,” Albus replied quietly, thinking in horror about how badly his family could have taken the news of his sexuality. If Scorpius’ experience was any indication, he was quite lucky indeed for his family. He made a mental note not to curse anyone out the next time they tried to set him up.

Scorpius shrugged again and abruptly changed position, leaning back and putting his arm around Albus’ shoulders. It was obvious that they were done with the conversation. Albus stretched against the other boy, in the process accidentally kicking Hugo, who was sitting at Lily’s feet. The younger Weasley turned around expectantly to see why he was wanted. 

Albus signed to him to assure him that it was an accident and Hugo nodded and made to turn back around, but Scorpius’ curious eyes made him stay facing them.

“What did you tell him?” Scorpius asked Albus, still looking at Hugo curiously. 

“Why don’t you ask him yourself? He’s hard of hearing, not dumb,” Albus replied, signing what he was saying for Hugo’s benefit and out of habit. “There’s a notepad on the table, it’s easier for him to read paper than lips.”

Glancing at Albus, Scorpius took the pad and wrote his question. Hugo looked at the pad and grinned at Scorpius.

“He told me it was an accident,” Hugo replied out loud to him as he signed. “He kicked me.”

“Accident?” Scorpius asked, clumsily mimicking the gesture Hugo had made. Hugo took his hands and rearranged them into the proper position. 

“Accident,” he repeated, signing the word again. Scorpius copied him more successfully this time. “Do you want to know more?” Hugo asked the interested Slytherin, still signing as he talked. 

“Do you mind?” Scorpius asked Albus, who immediately shook his head and grinned.

“Go on, learn some sign language. You won’t be able to get along in this family without it,” Albus told him, happy that Scorpius seemed to be genuinely interested. At least he wasn’t faking this, and maybe the Malfoy would find the day to be productive after all. 

With his date busy learning the basics of sign language from an enthusiastic Hugo, Albus scanned the room and observed his family. While the gathering at the Burrow was significantly smaller than the wedding had been, there were still plenty of people who he didn’t know. Many of which, he observed by the noticeable lack of eccentric clothing, were Muggles. He saw an old couple talking to his new sister in law and realized with a jolt that he hadn’t seen James since they had arrived. 

"Hey, where is James?" Albus turned and asked Lily, who was still sitting next to him. It was unusual for him to be away from the party for so long, especially since it was his celebration.

"Dunno, he disappeared soon after we got here," she replied distractedly, dropping bits of paper in Hugo's hair. Albus frowned. 

"I'm going to go find James, okay?" He told Scorpius, moving to stand. "Will you be okay here alone? Lily will make sure no one bothers you."

"I'm hardly alone," Scorpius snorted, "but by all means, go find your dunce of a brother."

"Lils, protect Scorpius for me, will you?" Albus asked, patting Scorpius on the shoulder and standing up.

"Aye aye, sir," she saluted, giggling at Albus' groan. 

"Who's going to protect me from her though?" Scorpius called after Albus a second too late. Albus smirked but kept walking. They'd be fine. 

Wandering up the stairs, Albus peered into the first bedroom he came across and immediately wished he hadn't. Roxy was on the bed with someone Albus didn't recognize, making out with them quite enthusiastically. Neither of them looked up and Albus quickly shut the door, rubbing his eyes violently in disgust. 

He knocked on the next door but was told loudly to go away by at least three people. Shaking his head, he continued on to the next bedroom. This was the room his parents usually stayed in when they visited, and he definitely didn't want a repeat of Roxy. Gingerly, he knocked on the door. 

"James?" No one answered and the door was locked when he tried it. Looking around to make sure that no Muggle was watching, Albus muttered _ "homenum revelio."  _

Someone was in there, but unless they were having a solo jerk fest, it was safe to go in. Unlocking the door, Albus stepped into the dark room. 

It was fairly empty except for the tent that Albus knew was bigger on the inside. Albus pushed aside the flap of the tent and entered the brightly lit room which was bigger and much better furnished than the room he just left. 

"James?" He called again, looking around the empty room. There was a thump and a muttered "shit" from the bathroom. "James, what are you doing?" Albus asked, half worried, half exasperated. He opened the door to the bathroom to see his older brother sitting in the bathtub, white as a sheet. 

"Merlin, James, you look like you just had a run in with a dementor! What happened?" Albus knelt next to the tub, exasperation gone. "Did someone die or something?"

"Al. I just got married. Me," James whispered, eyes closed. "I'm married."

Albus internally sighed in relief. No one was dead or hurt. That was good. 

"I'm going to have to get a stable job and a house and take responsibility," James continued, opening his eyes and looking at Albus. "I can't do that!"

"James," Albus started, putting his hand on his brother's knee, "yes you can. First of all, you already have a stable job, you twat. You know, basically the family business? Also, you could probably do something with quidditch if you wanted. Play or teach or coach or something. Second of all, this isn't all your responsibility. You're part of a team now, you great prat. Buying a house is a joint effort. This isn't all on you."

James seemed to relax a bit. "Yeah I guess you're right," he muttered, hiding a smile. "I hate it when you're right."

"You must be pretty hateful then because I'm almost always right," Albus retorted with a grin. 

James looked stricken suddenly. "Al what if she wants kids? I'm not ready for kids. I can barely take care of myself! How would that work? It wouldn't!"

"Calm down mate," Albus rolled his eyes. "Chances are, she's not going to want kids right away. She's probably in the same boat you are. Actually, have you talked to her about any of this?" James' guilty silence answered him. "Go talk to your wife, you arse. She's probably worried about you. Merlin, am I the only sane brother?"

"Alright, alright," James agreed, groaning and getting out of the tub. "You win. I'll be mature. Ew." He stretched. "Say, what about you? You brought a date, right? Who is it? You need to introduce me."

"Oh you know him," Albus winced, thinking that now was probably not the best time to tell James who he brought. "And I don't think you're going to like it."

"Oh come on, he can't be that bad," James laughed, leading the way downstairs back to everyone else. "What, is it one of my friends? They're definitely not all straight, and I can see you with Cynna." Seeing Albus' face, he amended his conclusion. "Leo? He has a thing for brunettes, you know. I thought--wait."

Albus turned to see where James was glaring and saw a pained-looking Scorpius sitting where he left him, Lily's hands running through his hair while she talked nonstop into his ear. 

"Malfoy," he heard James hiss and his brother was shoving people out of his way before Albus could stop him. 

"Oi, Malfoy! Get your hands off my sister!" James demanded, never mind the fact that Lily was the one with her hands on Scorpius. Scorpius looked at James incredulously and Lily laughed, not removing her hands. "Listen, you creep," James blustered, hands on his hips and looking scarily like his grandmother. "I don't even know how you got in here. What you do on your own time is your business, but you will not be seducing my baby sister in my house at my wedding!" 

Lily fell into Scorpius's lap, she was laughing so hard. Scorpius tried to remove her but gave up, sighing as James came to help and tried to force Scorpius to stand up. Albus cleared his throat. 

"James? I'd like you to meet my date, Scorpius Malfoy." Lily stopped laughing and sat up. 

"Your--what?" James asked, his hand still around Scorpius' wrist. 

"My date, Jamie. The one you're trying to forcefully turn out? That's mine." Scorpius smirked at James' baffled face and Albus had to stifle a grin of his own. 

"He's your...but Malfoy? And he's gay?"

Scorpius pointedly extracted his wrist from James' grasp and sat back down next to Lily, who was giggling again at James' expression. 

"Don't hurt yourself, Junior," Scorpius said, using the nickname he used to annoy James when they were in school together. Sure enough, James flushed. 

"Why, you--" and then he turned to Albus pleadingly. "Really Al? Malfoy? And he makes you happy and all that?"

"He does," Albus replied simply, earning a smug grin from Scorpius. 

Grumbling, James walked away, saying something about finding someone sane. 

"So that went well," Albus remarked brightly, sitting down on top of Scorpius. "I think he likes you."

Scorpius wrapped his arms around Albus and rested his chin on his shoulder without hesitation. 

"If that's liking me, I'd hate to see what he'd do if he hated me," he replied, laughing a bit. Albus turned so he spoke into Scorpius' hair. It smelled like mint. 

"You're really good at this, Malfoy," he murmured so Lily wouldn't hear. 

"You make it rather easy, you know," Scorpius replied in the same tone. "Sitting on my lap in front of half your family? I didn't think you had it in you."

"And what's that supposed to mean?"

"Oh, nothing. Just that I didn't expect you to really go through with this plan. I thought you'd chicken out before now, and I definitely thought you'd balk at the idea of sitting on my lap."

"Hey! Guess you underestimated me big time, then. I am fully committed to this."

"Is that a challenge?"

"What if it was?"

"So this is your date?"

Molly stood in front of them, arms crossed. Scorpius tightened his grip on Albus and stared at her. 

"It is," Albus replied, leaning back against Scorpius, making Molly frown.

"I don't believe it," she announced, sitting in a chair across from them. "You're dating Malfoy?"

"His name is Scorpius," retorted Albus in a warning tone. He shifted so he was sitting next to Scorpius instead of on top of him. The room was mostly quiet now, everyone paying attention to their conversation. Albus glanced around and saw multiple people he didn't know. No magic in front of the Muggles. 

"Yes fine, Scorpius. I simply don't believe that you and  _ Scorpius  _ are dating," Molly insisted. 

"What are you saying, Molly?" Lily asked in her voice that Albus knew meant she was about to do something stupid. "Are you trying to say that Albus is using Scorpius as a fake date just to get out of going with whoever you were going to set him up with?" And there it was. Molly's eyes sparked as she latched onto this idea. 

"Is that what this is?" She gestured to their linked hands and Albus unconsciously tightened his grip on Scorpius. "You're just faking this?"

"Of course not, Molly. Think about what you're saying," Albus said in what he hoped was a reasonable tone. 

"They are both Slytherins," someone, probably Lily said. Albus groaned. 

"You are, you're pretending to date each other!" Molly exclaimed, completely convinced.

"We're not," Albus retorted with an exasperated sigh. 

"Prove it then!" Someone, probably Lily again, yelled. 

"What do you want us to do, fuck in front of you guys? Send you a sex tape?" While many people groaned in disgust and Molly informed him in explicit terms how much she  _ didn't  _ want that, Scorpius tugged on his arm. 

"Hey Al," he whispered, and Albus turned his head and then Scorpius' lips were on his and they were kissing and he could vaguely hear the sound of yelling but he didn't care because he was kissing Scorpius Malfoy. 

When they broke apart, it was dead silent. 

"Is that proof enough for you?" Scorpius asked the quiet room, his voice low. 

"No I think you need to do it again," Lily suggested. 

"Fuck off, Lily," Albus said with a little shove, his head spinning. So, Scorpius had kissed him. To keep up the charade, of course. But it had been voluntary. And he had enjoyed it. That was not part of the plan. Shit. 

He had an alarming thought--what if Scorpius was a Legilimens? Hastily, he slammed up his mental shields, peering unobtrusively at Scorpius to see if his expression had changed at all. Either the Malfoy was extremely skilled at schooling his facial expressions, which Albus supposed was quite possible, or he was not trying to enter his mind.

"Who the fuck are you?" 

Albus turned to see James staring down a man he had assumed was a Muggle relative. The man hastily shoved something in his pocket and stood up. 

"I'm a friend of the bride, Mister Potter, sir. Look, see--"

"Do any of you know him?" He asked the people around him, who all shook their heads no. "Turn out your pockets then, Muggle." The man quailed under James' glare. His hand shook as he reached into his pocket, but at the last second he spun on his heels and ran out of the room. 

"Stop that man!" James shouted as he vaulted over the couch after him. They heard a crack and James let out a string of expletives. He returned to the room scowling. 

"No one knew who that was, right?" Everyone shook their heads. "Damn," James sighed, sitting down. He looked at Albus warily. "Reporter I'd guess. He was taking pictures of you two." 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I think there will be 9 chapters total of this and possibly an epilogue, so we're nearing the end!


	7. Chapter 7

 

Albus paced back and forth. "Of us kissing? Was he from the Prophet?" He asked, already planning out how he could bribe them to not publish it. Alyss quit her position there, but she might still be able to pull some strings.

"I didn't recognize him," James said, shaking his head. "Chances are he's freelance. I sure as hell didn't invite him."

Albus groaned and closed his eyes as people started talking. Freelancers were the worst, especially the kind that would sneak into someone's reception. Chances are he was already trying to sell to everyone. Albus might be able to keep it out of the Prophet, but those pictures were out there for good. He flopped back down next to Scorpius.

"It'll be fine," Scorpius said in his ear. "You'll be fine. It's okay."

Albus buried his head in Scorpius’ shoulder, half forgetting they weren't actually dating. He was so damn careful about staying out of public eye and then something like this happens. And he dragged Scorpius into it. Scorpius, with his father who pretended that his sexuality was a phase.

“Hey, Scor,” he asked in a faux-casual voice that fooled no one. “Are your parents going to be alright? I mean, if they see that picture.”

Scorpius turned to face him directly.

"I don't give a fuck what they think," he told him directly. "Because it's none of their damn business who I kiss. Besides, I was the one who kissed you. What are they going to do, throw me out? Disown me?"

Albus didn't say anything and Scorpius rolled his eyes.

"Well I don't live with them, so they can't very well throw me out, and they're not going to disown me for making out with a hot boy. They're not stupid, they know how bad that'd make them look." Seeing Albus' look, he nudged him. "Don't worry about me, you prat. You’re the one who hates being in the paper.”

“Yeah, okay,” Albus acquiesced, seeing Scorpius wasn’t going to drop it. Scorpius gave him another look before standing up, offering a hand.

“Do you want to go find a drink or something? It looks like you need one.”

As if on cue, Rose appeared at his shoulder with a bottle of firewhiskey. She conjured three glasses and shooed Lily off the couch, taking her place and ignoring her protests.

“Al, Malfoy,” she nodded, offering them both glasses. The two took the offered drinks and Albus downed his own gratefully, grinning at his cousin. Scorpius sat back down. “So that was a close one, huh?” Rose grinned.

“Why didn’t James use a guest list, honestly,” Albus grumbled, looking at his empty glass in dismay.

“You know that probably wouldn't have helped,” Rose retorted, refilling his glass. “Anyways, I’m pretty sure he did have a guest list. You can’t expect him to recognize everyone who’s here, especially if he hasn’t even met them before.”

Ignoring Albus’ muttering to the contrary, Rose turned to Scorpius and started a conversation with him about his business.

“So Albus, how did you and Scorpius meet?” Lucy asked him, staring curiously at the two Slytherins on the sofa. Albus groaned internally as he was startled out of his muttering. He just wanted to drink his firewhiskey and go home, but of course, with lots of family members comes lots of questions.

“I found him in his bookstore,” he answered half-truthfully. “I had been going for a while before I realized it belonged to him.”

“Did you meet in the romance aisle?” Lily taunted from across the room.  

“Fuck off Lily, your jokes are not even funny,” Albus retorted as Lucy and a few Gryffindors standing nearby giggled.

“What made you decide to introduce him to us now?” Lucy pressed. She had always been one for a romance story. Albus saw Molly paying attention suspiciously and figured it was time to take it up a notch.

“I figured it was the time that you all knew, and I didn't want Molly to rope me into going to the wedding with someone I didn’t...someone I wasn’t dating,” Albus replied, looking over at Scorpius and smiling shyly. The chorus of sighs that followed told him he had timed it perfectly.

“Well I think you two make a perfect couple,” Lucy told them, grinning dreamily as Albus rested his head on Scorpius’ shoulder. Molly frowned at them but didn't say anything.

Glancing over at Albus, Rose stood up. “Who wants to go play some games?” She called. Cheering, most of the Weasley cousins followed her out of the room and up the stairs. Albus pulled Scorpius up and started walking towards the stairs as well.

“Are we going to play games?” Scorpius asked, somewhat doubtfully.

Albus snorted and shook his head. He led Scorpius up several flights of stairs and into the room he always shared with Rose and the others when he visited. Noting with pleasure that it was empty, he conjured a light and stopped in front of a window, muttering a bit as he tried to undo the latch. Scorpius watched in amusement.

“Is this our grand escape or something?” He asked and then, when Albus still couldn't open the window, “you know you are a wizard, right?”

Giving him a dark look, Albus took muttered an incantation and the difficult window sprung open.

“It's been a while since I've done this,” Albus admitted as he climbed out onto the roof, obviously expecting Scorpius to follow.

Once outside, Scorpius let the window fall shut and looked around. They weren't on the highest roof of the house, but they were up there. If Scorpius had to guess he'd say 30 or 40 feet. Albus sat down with his back resting on the side of another extension, which Scorpius reckoned was held in place mostly by magic. He hadn't really gotten a good look at the house when they were coming in, but from this angle, it looked dangerous to live in at best.

“How do you all fit in here?” He asked doubtfully, looking down to see a chimney puffing smoke out a few stories below.

“We all bring tents,” Albus explained with a grin. “Tents with undetectable expansion charms on them. Every family has one and there are enough rooms to put them all in. It's actually pretty great; whenever we would get together the cousins would all sleep together in one or two tents. Even with the expansion charms, it would get crowded sometimes because we'd all try to sleep in one tent,” he recalled. “But now that doesn't usually happen. You know, people getting partners, wanting to sleep alone with them, having children… It's getting pretty tight.”

“I would imagine,” Scorpius replied, shaking his head. “I don't know how you deal with so much family. I have about three cousins that I see approximately once or twice every other year, and they live in France. Also, their house is about seven times bigger than this place and even then I have a hard time getting away from them.”

“It does get to be a bit much sometimes,” Albus agreed with a rueful smile, gesturing around. “Hence, the roof.”

“Did you come up here a lot?” Scorpius wondered. He couldn't picture quiet Albus Potter making as much noise as the other Weasleys.

“More as I got older. My cousins are great and I love them, of course, but they do get to be a bit much. Initially, I would just come up here to get out of work. Our parents were quite fond of making us do chores without magic. But when everyone started having kids and the house was filled with screaming babies, it got to be too loud for me.” Albus shifted so he was laying down, vaguely wondering why he was talking so much. “Teddy would sometimes come up here with me. She's the best. Even though we’re not technically related, she's the best sibling I could ask for.”

“Do your other siblings know that?” Scorpius asked with a laugh.

“Oh definitely,” Albus assured them. “I tell them regularly. Besides, they all love Teddy best too.”

“I can't imagine what it would be like to have so many siblings,” Scorpius mused. “It's always just been me and my parents. And my grandparents, of course, but they mostly kept to their own wing of the manor. Was it nice having someone your own age around all the time?”

“Well Ru is almost ten years younger than me, so she and I have always had a nice relationship. It's hard to fight with someone when they're that much younger than you, you know? And James and Lily can be great, of course, but they could also be a pain in my arse. James had, or has, I should say, an affinity for pranks and physical everything. If he wants to show affection, he hugs you. If he wants to show you how angry he is, he punches or tackles you. He's pretty straightforward. Lily is a sneaky little snitch though. I'm still amazed she didn't get into Slytherin.”

“Not enough tact,” Scorpius reflected, remembering the numerous detentions the younger Potter had gotten.

“I suppose not,” Albus agreed with a laugh. “But yeah, it is nice to have siblings around my own age. If only to blame things on when something goes wrong. And they were always quite happy to take the spotlight.”

“I suppose that happens a lot to your family,” Scorpius said, gingerly laying down next to Albus on the roof.

“Yeah, it does. Comes with having a war hero for a father.”

“Try having a parent on the wrong side of the war,” Scorpius retorted a bit scornfully.

“Oh, right.” Albus very suddenly remembered who he was talking to. “I suppose you get a lot of media coverage as well.”

“Not as much as your family. But at least your coverage is just stupid gossip about your love life or family drama or whatever. I get ‘Is He Dabbling in Dark Magic?’ and ‘Young Malfoy Wears Black: Is He a Death Eater?’” Scorpius grinned bitterly at the memories of the articles. “It’s stupid as hell, but people believe what they hear. I lost a lot of business that month. I remember specifically one article accused me of using my bookshop as a front for smuggling dark artifacts. Magical Law Enforcement came for me and shut me down for a week looking for the supposed ‘artifacts.’ Turns out someone saw me carrying an unidentified box into my store after hours and called the ministry.”

Albus let out a low whistle and shook his head; the things people assumed. Not that he was entirely surprised. It was silent for a few minutes before Scorpius spoke again.

“My father hates the bookstore.”

Albus glanced over at him but Scorpius didn’t continue. His eyes were shut and he had his hands clasped behind his head, the epitome of carelessness.

“Why?” Albus asked when it was clear Scorpius wasn’t going to carry on.

“Malfoys generally do not do work outside of our own estate. We sometimes hold high up ministry positions or low-income beneficial jobs like being on a board of trustees or becoming an advisor for important people, the type of jobs where you can influence things from the shadows. It’s exceedingly rare for a Malfoy to actually work, let alone start his own business. My father was...most unhappy when he discovered that I did not want to continue his work of influencing ministry positions and hosting lavish banquets at the manor. He used to go on long rants about how he and his father besmirched the Malfoy name by choosing the wrong side of the war and now it’s my duty to the family to ‘make our ties to society good again’ or whatever.”

“No pressure or anything,” Albus said. Scorpius snorted.

“Not at all. Needless to say, starting my own bookstore was not on my father’s life plan for me. Did you know I live in a flat?”

Albus shook his head. He had always assumed that Scorpius lived in the manor or some other fancy estate like it.

“I do. I live in the flat above my shop. I think my parents assume that I’ll move back in and take up a proper Malfoy occupation when my business fails. I’m not an idiot though; if my business fails it will not be because I managed it incorrectly.” Scorpius’ eyes were open now and he was glaring fiercely at the sky. Albus had never heard him talk so much before. Could this really be the same pretentious boy who snubbed him all through Hogwarts?

“For what it’s worth, I don’t think you’ll fail,” Albus told him honestly. The Malfoy heir was one of the most ambitious and driven people he had ever met, and he was in Slytherin so that was saying something. If he wanted to be successful, he would be.

Scorpius looked at him with what could be considered a smile. He was about to say something when they heard a clamor and Teddy tumbled out of the window.

“I thought I might find you here Al,” she said with a friendly grin at them. “The others are looking for you two, I think they want to catch you making out or something.”

“Why,” Albus groaned, hitting his head back against the roof. “It’s only been like thirty minutes. Can’t I have some time to myself?”

“You don’t look like you’re by yourself to me,” Teddy grinned again. “Should I leave you two alone?”

Albus groaned again and put his arms over his face, but Scorpius sat up.

“Come on, if they’re looking for us we’d better go back out,” he told Albus, who called him a traitor but sat up as well.

“Where’s Vic, anyway?” Albus asked when he saw that Teddy was alone. She rolled her eyes and pushed him through the window.

“We don’t spend every second together, you know,” she told him ruefully. “Contrary to popular belief, we can survive without each other.”

“Could have fooled me,” Albus teased. “What about that time when they went to France?”

“We don’t talk about that time, Al,” the brunette warned sternly, but both of them knew she was trying to hold back a smile. “I was young and in love. It made me do foolish things.”

“You’re still young and in love,” Albus retorted with a smirk. “Does that mean we should cast a sticking charm on you?”

“What am I missing here?” Scorpius asked as Teddy glared at Albus, who was laughing at her expression.

“One summer Vic and her family went away to France for the holiday,” Albus started, laughing as Teddy tried to cover his mouth with her hand. Holding her around the waist and keeping her away from his mouth, Albus continued, “And poor Teddy here was left behind because her grandmother decided she wasn’t old enough or mature enough to go to a foreign country without her.”

“Shut up, Al,” Teddy growled, but laughing as Albus still held her back.

“And so, Teddy here, in all her broken-hearted glory, tried to go to France, despite not knowing where exactly they had gone or how--hey, no fair!”

Albus broke off from telling his story with a laugh because Teddy had transformed herself so she was significantly taller and stronger than him. Picking a protesting Albus up and putting him over her shoulder, she smiled cheerfully at Scorpius and walked towards the door.

“What my darling Albus here was trying to say was that when we are young we sometimes do stupid things that should definitely be forgotten and never mentioned again,” she explained over the sounds of Albus shouting at her to put him down. Scorpius followed her to a tent in another room where a large group of Weasleys was situated.

“I found the lovebirds,” she announced to the group of assembled cousins as she transformed back to her previous form and unceremoniously dropped Albus on a bed. Scorpius went over to the red-faced Albus and sat down as Teddy took a seat next to Victoire, kissing her quickly before turning to face the rest of the group. “And no, they were not making out or having sex or anything.”

“Thanks for that Teddy,” Albus grumbled, kicking at her halfheartedly as everyone laughed.

Scorpius noticed that the entire floor was covered with colorful boards and small toys that many of the Weasley offspring were moving around. He recognized a chess board and a few games of exploding snap, but the rest of the games were foreign to him.

“Who wants more alcohol?” they heard from the doorway and Scorpius had to back further onto the bed to avoid being knocked in the head by a swarm of bottles. “If anyone says anything about me giving alcohol to minors, I will find you, and I will end you,” Domi announced as she proceeded into the room.

Albus gratefully snagged two bottles out of the swarm and passed one to Scorpius, who passed it to Teddy. However strangely comfortable he was around Albus, he did not think it would be a good idea to be completely drunk in a house full of Weasleys and other Gryffindors. There were definitely at least some people in this place that would prefer him gone.

“So how is your business doing?” Scorpius asked Teddy, as Albus was busy getting into an argument with Lily about something or another.

“Oh it’s alright,” Teddy shrugged, leaning against Victoire. “I get to work from home, which is nice, and my work is very revolutionary and all, but honestly I can’t wait until this shit takes off. Money’s getting tight and not everyone is thrilled to buy shit from the queer kid who can’t decide on their gender.”

Scorpius snorted. “Yeah, I would imagine.”

“What would you know about it, Malfoy?” Called someone from a little ways off. A light-haired man that Scorpius recognized from Hogwarts but whose name he couldn’t recall was jeering at him. “Like you’ve ever had to work a day in your pretty life. Not all of us have had a silver spoon stuck up our ass since birth, yeah?”

“As a son of a former death eater, I know a thing or two about people being stupidly prejudiced against doing business with me. So calm down, asshole, I wasn’t insulting her,” Scorpius drawled, picking up a few pieces of plastic from a board labeled Monopoly and chucking them half-heartedly at the obviously drunk Gryffindor.

Faster than Scorpius had thought likely, given his noticeably inebriated state, the man took out a wand, his mouth forming the words to a jinx before Scorpius could react.

A shield went up in front of Scorpius, causing the unknown jinx to rebound and hit the abandoned Monopoly board. Albus pointed his wand and glared at the caster. The room fell silent as the board smoked.

“I suggest, Richards, that you do not attack my boyfriend while I’m in the room. Or anywhere else really, he could beat your sorry arse into the ground if he liked.” Albus kicked at the smoking board, and when that didn’t stop it smoking, cast a silent _aguamenti_. “That goes for all of you,” he addressed the room. “Please stop trying to curse my boyfriend.”

The room was silent until--

“Damn, you really can duel when you’re sloshed.”

Teddy laughed at Scorpius’ comment and gradually everyone else joined her, the room going back to the cheerful din that had permeated it before Albus’ outburst.

Albus slumped further onto the bed and Scorpius moved to give him more room, positioning himself in a way where they could easily speak without being overheard.

“That was some fancy wandwork right there, Potter,” he murmured, grinning. “What else can you do with a wand?”

Outright laughing at Albus’ shocked expression, Scorpius once again casually swung his arm around Albus and joined in with the general hubbub of the room. This fake date full of Gryffindors was worth it to see Albus Potter’s face crinkle in bemusement like that. And wasn't that simple fact interesting


	8. Chapter 8

 

Albus watched as Scorpius frowned at the board in front of him. After a bit of begging, Hugo had managed to convince Scorpius to play a game of wizard chess with him, and the two were now in an intense silent battle. As far as Albus knew, Hugo had not lost a chess match since he was nine, and Scorpius was not the type to be pleased with being beaten. He hoped Scorpius was not one to throw things when he lost. Both James and Lily had gone through such stages and Albus had had quite enough of it for one life. 

‘You okay?’ he signed to Hugo. 

Hugo grinned and signed, ‘Yes I’m good. He’s nice and he plays well. You picked a good one to fake with.’

Albus shook his head ruefully as Hugo went back to his game. Scorpius was being nice, unnaturally so. Albus had never heard anyone refer to the youngest Malfoy as nice before, and here was his little cousin enjoying a game of chess with the bloke, happy as can be. Although, Hugo did seem to like most everyone.   
But still, Albus thought, still staring vaguely at the game in front of him, since when was Malfoy nice? And on that point, why in Merlin’s name had he agreed to come to this wedding? Sure, Albus had invited him, but what if Malfoy had agreed just so he could spy on their family or something?

That was ridiculous, though. Malfoy was just paying back a debt so Albus couldn’t call upon him some other, more inconvenient time. Right? He hadn’t even known it was going to happen. 

“You’re thinking too hard. You’re going to hurt yourself if you don’t stop that.” Scorpius had gotten up, his game with Hugo finished. Albus registered that Hugo had indeed won. Another thing had caught his attention, though.

“What do you mean I was thinking too hard?” He asked. Scorpius gave him a meaningful look.

“You’re using your intense thinking face,” Scorpius elaborated to the increasingly more paranoid Albus. 

How did Malfoy know what his thinking face looked like? Was that common knowledge? Did he know what Malfoy’s thinking face looks like?

Scorpius looked at him and correctly interpreted his facial expression again. “Oh come on, Al. Just because we didn’t talk at Hogwarts doesn’t mean I didn’t pay attention to you. That’s the face you always made right after you fucked up a potion. You knew you did something wrong, but you could never tell what it was until too late.”

Albus decided that he did know what Malfoy’s thinking face looked like. Probably. 

“So Al, I have a question,” Scorpius started casually. “You don't have to answer if you don't want to. What do you do for work? No one seems to know.”

Albus went into overdrive. What had he told Scorpius about his work? Not much, surely. Maybe that he worked from home? He couldn’t remember. But the Prophet had been trying to figure out what he did for a living for a while now. Why they cared, he couldn’t fathom, but he hated people snooping. Malfoy wouldn’t stoop so low as to sell the Prophet secrets, would he? Although he had gotten an alarming amount of information out of Albus about his personal life. 

Swearing harshly to himself in his head, Albus mentally went over what he had told the Malfoy. There had been that bit about not liking to be around his family all the time, and what, that he had a cat? Was there anything else? Albus cursed himself for revealing personal information to someone he hardly knew. How incredibly Gryffindor-like he had been, telling all his secrets like a lovesick schoolboy. Why had he thought any of this was a good idea? Just because he was lonely or whatever didn't mean he had to spill his guts. And to Malfoy, who was probably having a good laugh at his expense in his head. 

“Al?’ Scorpius asked, his voice sounding concerned. He was definitely a good actor, Albus would give him that.

“I’ll be right back,” Albus replied in an offhand voice. He had to get away from the other Slytherin to think. 

Pushing out of the overcrowded room, Albus found himself conveniently running into his uncle George, who was carrying a rather large box of fireworks in his arms. 

“Need some help?” Albus asked as George almost tripped over him. His uncle amicably let him direct the way down to the bottom floor and with Albus’ help he managed not to have any accidents. 

“We’re gonna set these up right out front and form a sort of path with them,” George explained as he set the box down with a thud. He noticed Ru and a boy Albus recognized from the ceremony as one of the flower-throwing children watching them and beckoned them over. 

“Here Ru, small child, take these fireworks and put them in a line starting at the door going out. Like a path, yeah.”

Albus helped Ru and the boy who he learned was Amelia’s cousin place the fireworks, silently grateful to be away from the unnerving Malfoy. 

“So Al, where’s your new boyfriend?” Ru asked him, grabbing a few fireworks and setting them up around the yard. 

“Oh, I dunno, I think he’s talking to Hugo,” Albus replied casually. Ru and George exchanged a glance, which Albus found annoying and highly unnecessary. 

“Is everything alright?” Ru continued, giving him a look that Albus knew she got from their grandmother. 

“Everything is fine, Ru.” Albus avoided eye contact. Was he being too paranoid? Was there such thing as being too paranoid? 

“Whatever you say, bro,” she replied. She looked like she was going to continue but George took his head out of the box he was rummaging through for just long enough to call Ru over. 

As Ru went over to help her now-struggling uncle lift a particularly large and complicated looking object out of the box, Albus went over his conversation with Scorpius in his head. He was overreacting, he had to be. Did they not have a long conversation about how they hated how the media portrayed their family? And it wasn't as if Scorpius had anything against him. Probably. 

Muttering about some fresh air, despite already being outside, Albus wandered away behind the house to a spot where he knew he couldn’t be observed from inside. He sat down and started absent-mindedly levitating the leaves around him, practicing some wandless magic. 

Even if Scorpius wasn't planning to sell his deepest, darkest secrets to the Prophet, this whole fake date thing had probably been a bad idea. Sure he had pissed off a few people, and sure, Molly’s face was kind of worth it, but now that he actually knew Malfoy was actually a decent person, things were getting difficult. Like not being able to breathe properly after Malfoy kissed him? What was that about? Maybe he had been poisoned. That would explain the flushing and the heart palpitations, maybe.

“Didn't take you for the artistic type, Albus,” came an all-too-familiar drawl. Albus looked up to see Scorpius lounging against the house looking at the leaves dancing around in a pattern. He let his hand fall and the leaves dropped with it. 

“What are you doing here, Malfoy?” Albus asked, standing up.

Scorpius raised his eyebrow a bit at the reversion to his last name but stood up from his casual slouch against the wall. “I was under the impression that I was your date,” he replied rather cooly. 

“Really?” Albus continued, looking at the other man out of the corner of his eye to observe his reactions. “And you had no ulterior motives? No plans to, say, sell my secrets to the highest bidder? Or slip me some sort of potion when I was too inebriated to notice?” 

Albus knew at once that what he said had struck a nerve. Scorpius flushed slightly and stiffened.

“If I planned to sell you out,  _ Potter _ , why would I have told you anything personal about me?” He asked icily. 

“You could have been lying,” Albus muttered, looking away completely.

“Would it matter? Anything you say people would believe. Even if it was completely ludicrous. You know that’s true.”

Albus didn't respond. It was true. Everything Scorpius had told him that night, even if it was all completely false, would be exactly what any newspaper would love to hear. And coming from Albus? They would believe every word of it.  

“Yeah, well.”

“And for your information,” Scorpius interrupted, stepping closer to him, “I would not need you to be drunk to poison you. Or did you forget that I was the best in our year at potions?”

Albus scowled. He had not forgotten.  

“I thought you were above this sort of bullshit,” Scorpius hissed. He was standing directly in front of him now, forcing Albus to look into his eyes. They weren’t nearly as nice when they were this cold. “I thought you understood I’m not my father. I thought-”

He broke off then, turning away. Albus caught his wrist before he could move out of range.

“No, I know. I’m sorry. It’s just hard for me to believe that you’re here of your own volition. Without any ulterior motives.” Albus realized that he was still holding the other’s wrist and dropped it, knowing that his face was starting to turn red and glad that the partial darkness would hide it. 

Scorpius’ eyes seemed a bit less cold.

“So, you admit that I’m not trying to kill you? Would you swear that under veritaserum?” 

“Veritaserum wouldn’t work in this situation, you prat,” Albus complained, pushing at the now-grinning Slytherin in front of him. 

“Oh, so now you remember your Potions information.” Scorpius took a step closer, looking over Albus’ shoulder towards the house. Albus vaguely wondered what he was looking at but couldn’t concentrate on the thought because Scorpius was extremely close to him and it was making him slightly dizzy. “So now that we have that figured out, is it time for a make-up kiss?” 

Albus’ head spun as Scorpius’ lips connected with his and he gasped involuntarily. When Scorpius pulled away, eyes shining, it took Albus a few minutes to collect his thoughts. 

“What was that for?” he asked rather breathlessly. Scorpius looked unusually delighted at his reaction. 

“Redhead number seven was watching us. Going to report back, I’d assume. Figured I’d give them something to talk about.” He watched Albus.

Albus, in turn, stared at Scorpius, his head spinning. He knew for a fact that the spot they were in was not visible from the house, that’s why he had chosen it. So why was Scorpius lying? And why, why had Scorpius kissed him without needing to?


	9. Chapter 9

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It's amazing how quickly a year can go by when you have obligations. Yikes emoji. Please don't kill me! Here's the long-awaited final chapter. Enjoy!

They walked back to the house together, Albus in a daze. What reason would Scorpius have to kiss him other than to keep up the charade? The only logical conclusion that Albus could think of was that Scorpius wanted to kiss him.

He glanced at the other Slytherin, who was looking unusually cheerful and unguarded. Did Scorpius actually want to kiss him? What other reason could there be? 

But that was completely ridiculous, Albus reminded himself with a shake of his head. This was Scorpius Malfoy he was talking about. Scorpius Malfoy who did not talk to him throughout their years at Hogwarts. Scorpius Malfoy who came with him only to settle a debt and annoy Weasleys. Scorpius Malfoy who was incredibly fit and surprisingly funny and gay.

That last thought actually made him stop and look at the man walking next to him. Scorpius looked back at him quizzically but didn’t ask anything, perhaps worried that he would be accused of trying to poison him again. 

“I’m sorry I accused you of trying to get information about me to sell to the Prophet. That wasn't cool,” Albus said, turning to face Scorpius completely. They were back in the front yard now, surrounded by other party guests. No one was paying any attention to them though, for the first time that evening.

Scorpius smiled at him, warmer than Albus thought possible, and took his hand. Since when did he describe smiles as warm? Maybe he was drunker than he thought. 

Then a thought hit him. Scorpius was drunk! He had definitely given him enough drinks to get him properly drunk, and Albus himself was rather far from sober, so Scorpius must be at least as intoxicated as him. 

“How drunk are you?” He blurted out, causing a few people to look at them strangely. 

Scorpius frowned and led him over to a more secluded corner of the yard, where he leaned against a post and stared at Albus. 

“I’m actually rather sober. Why?”

Albus turned that fact over in his head. So, it wasn’t the alcohol that caused Scorpius to kiss him. Then what?

Scorpius casually grabbed Albus’ waist and pulled him closer, causing Albus’ breath to catch almost imperceptibly. If Scorpius had noticed, he gave no indication. The action had caused others to react as well, though, and Lucy and her friend to gasp a little louder than they should have. Perhaps they were being watched more than Albus had thought. 

“Are you okay?” Scorpius asked him as he ran his hands up and down Albus’ waist, causing the latter’s breath to quicken. “Is this too much?” 

“I sat on your lap, this is nothing,” Albus managed to return in a normal voice. But it obviously was not nothing. Why was this affecting him so much? He wasn’t stupid enough to actually believe that Scorpius had poisoned him, which left only one option. It wasn’t a very good option. In fact, Albus did not like it at all. 

He, Albus Potter, had a thing for Scorpius Malfoy. He probably should have realized it sooner, what with his reaction to being called Love and being kissed by the other man. 

He saw the questioning look in Scorpius’ eyes and might have been about to blurt out something stupid in Gryffindor fashion when Rose walked over, this time with her partner Kai. 

“Albus, Scorpius. You two are looking quite cozy,” she remarked, surreptitiously conjuring a table and a set of chairs. 

“There are Muggles around, honestly Rose,” Albus hissed, mostly annoyed that she had interrupted his close contact with Scorpius. Now that he realized he rather fancied Scorpius, he planned to take as much advantage of their situation as he could without being inappropriate. Although, was it fair to continue this charade when he now knew he actually wanted this? He reasoned that as long as Scorpius initiated everything, it was fair. After all, if the blond wanted to kiss him, who was he to complain?

It occurred to Albus, as he sat half-listening to Rose talk with Scorpius and Kai about her job, that perhaps Scorpius just wanted someone to kiss. Which was fair, he supposed. He certainly understood the sentiment. How many times had he woken up in a stranger’s bed after spending the night...kissing? Albus laughed at his own innuendo and the three others turned to look at him. 

“So how has your paper been going?” Rose asked him. “Merlin knows I’ve talked about my job enough.”

“It’s, erm, good,” Albus replied, glancing sideways at Scorpius. He didn't think he minded if the Malfoy knew what he did, actually. Why was it such a secret anyway?

“This one is about Muggle fantasy, right? How is it different than the last one?”

“The last one was about Muggle’s portrayal of wizards and witches in fantasy, this one is about magic and magical creatures.”

Scorpius sat up in his seat. 

“Wait, you wrote that? The article published in  _ Vanished Musings _ ?” He asked, staring intently at Albus. 

Albus twitched slightly. He knew writing for a literary magazine wasn’t the most impressive job, especially not for the son of Harry Potter. But it was as a favor to Teddy, and it did pay well. And besides, Scorpius owned a bookshop himself. Maybe he would see it as a good thing. 

“I did,” he finally replied. “I write the Muggle article every month.”

Scorpius laughed helplessly. “But those are brilliant! I have your last article on display in the Muggle section of my store!”

Albus grinned, suddenly irrationally happy. Scorpius liked his writing. Scorpius had his writing on display. 

“That point you made connecting Drier’s past connections to the Muggle world to the work of that one Muggle writer, Pratchett, I think? That was...that was art! I couldn’t believe I had never made the connection before! I can’t believe this!” 

He turned to Rose, eyes shining. “Can you believe this? Of course, you can, you’re his cousin, you knew this already. Merlin! I’m on a date with a genius!”

Albus, quite overwhelmed, was bright red at this point. This was by far the most animated he had ever seen Scorpius. And, a part of his brain said, he called this a date. Which, it was, strictly speaking, but still. He called it a date. 

Rose laughed at Scorpius’ enthusiasm, just as bemused as Albus was at the sheer amount of excitement now emanating from the usually so restrained man. 

People were starting to look over, so Scorpius lowered his voice, but the spark did not disappear from his eyes. 

“I have to admit, I haven’t read any of this Pratchett fellow, so that part went over my head. But I always love Albus’ writing,” Rose told Scorpius while Albus proceeded to melt into his chair in embarrassment. 

“Oh, you have to!” came Scorpius’ reply. “Here, I’ll write down some titles for you. You should come by my store sometime and I can help you pick some out if you want. You should reread Albus’ article before and after you read some of his stuff, it is really so cool.” 

Albus felt a stab of jealousy at the easy way Rose and Scorpius were chatting, but he pushed it away crossly. He had no right to be jealous in the first place, and they were just talking about books. Besides, Kai didn’t seem to be jealous. He looked a little out of his depth, but jealousy was not on his mind. They were both just excited about books. 

By the time that Scorpius finished scribbling down a list of books that was way longer than Albus thought it had any right being, the conversation had died down. Rose pocketed the list with a thank you and a promise to look into the titles and left with Kai to find James. It was getting late, Albus noticed with some surprise. He was reluctant for the evening to end, far more than he thought he would be. 

“So, can I talk to you about this?” Albus started hesitantly. “Could you maybe not say anything about this to anyone? Not that I think you would, I just. You know.”

“Don’t worry, I won’t,” replied Scorpius, who seemed to have regained his composure. “Besides, no offense, but I don't think anyone cares as much about them than I do. I sort of read them religiously.” 

Albus grinned at him. “What a nerd,” he taunted. Scorpius shot him a wry grin but did not deny it. 

Their conversation flowed easily after that, and they were occasionally joined by Albus’ family members. It wasn’t until Scorpius laughed unnaturally loudly that they looked around and saw that the yard was practically empty besides them. There were a few people milling around, but they were all family or close friends and Albus had the sinking realization that the night would soon be over. There was still the lingering question in his mind of why Scorpius had kissed him when no one was looking, but they were having fun and getting to know each other, and Albus didn’t want to ruin what little he had by asking questions.

“Do you want to go inside?” Albus asked, fiddling with his watch that held a truth he didn’t want to acknowledge. Scorpius made a face.

“Not particularly,” he replied easily. “I’d rather stay out here with you.” Albus’ stomach flipped at his words. “But, we probably should,” Scorpius continued with an overdramatic sigh. “It is, after all, the polite thing to do.”

Albus laughed and reluctantly agreed, getting up and offering Scorpius his hand. Together they walked inside, saying goodbye to families that were leaving and trading hellos with people they hadn’t seen yet that night. 

“Alright, James?” Albus said, coming up on his brother and clapping him on the shoulder. Not surprisingly, James was crying again. He grabbed Albus in a hug, making him wheeze but return the embrace. 

“You too, Malfoy, come on in here,” James gestured while still hugging Albus. “If you’re dating Albus that makes you practically family.” 

Scorpius flinched noticeably but reluctantly shuffled over to the hug where he was quickly enveloped as well. 

James hummed as he rocked them a bit, and Scorpius reluctantly admitted to himself that it was a rather good hug. But only to himself. 

“You know, I’m okay with this. I give you two my blessing,” James started, not letting them out of the hug. “I know we have had our differences in the past, but all of that is--Lily! Family Hug!” James called to their sister as she walked past. Lily brightened and ran to join them, causing Scorpius to let out an “oof!” when she ran into his back. 

“Oh hi Scorpius!” she said brightly. “James gave you the ‘you’re family now’ talk then, yeah?” Scorpius just groaned, his hands limp at his sides. 

“Rose! Rose Granger-Weasley, I see you there. Come join this family love fest!” James called as Rose tried quietly to exit the room. 

“No way am I joining anything called the family love fest,” Rose retorted.

James narrowed his eyes. “Family! Go!” he shouted into Albus’ ear, and then the four of them, propelled by James and Lily, were chasing Rose. When they reached her Lily grabbed her and forced her into the hug, both of them laughing. 

James spotted his new wife and brightened.

“Amelia! Love of my life! Flower of my soul! Vestibule of my heart! Join us in this hug.”

“James. My spine,” Albus managed to croak. James frowned. 

“Okay. I love you all. Even you Malfoy. One two three break!” he let them go and Albus gasped, trying to get the proper amount of air into his lungs. Being related to James was sometimes rather dangerous.

As Albus stretched, he observed Scorpius. He looked flustered, which surprised Albus a bit. Who knew all it took to ruffle Scorpius Malfoy was to have a group hug?

“You doing alright?” Albus asked him, patting his back sympathetically. “James can be a bit much sometimes.”

“You don’t say,” Scorpius replied weakly. “You weren’t kidding when you said James is really physical.” 

“He didn't hurt you, did he?” Albus asked, now looking closer at Scorpius. 

“Erm. No,” Scorpius replied. “It was just a bit close. And long.” 

Albus waited until Scorpius looked at him so he could catch his eye and wink exaggeratedly. 

“No,” Scorpius groaned, turning away from the now-laughing Albus. “That’s completely disgusting.” 

“I don't even want to know,” Rose muttered, coming up to them. “But I’m leaving, so say goodbye to me.”

“By Rosie,” Albus said, still laughing. Rose rolled her eyes.

“It was really nice seeing you,” She said to Scorpius, bringing him in for a hug. He handled it well, if a bit awkwardly. “I’ll definitely check these out, and watch out for me in your store.” She patted her pocket where she had put the list he had made her. 

Rose turned to Albus and crossed her arms. “Call me more often,” she said pretending to glare at him. He smiled at her and she gave in, hugging him. Just before she pulled away, she whispered in his ear: “good luck.”

Albus frowned at her when he pulled away and she looked at him and then Scorpius pointedly. Albus flushed slightly at the insinuation.

“Bye!” She said brightly, leaving them alone in the room. 

Albus sighed heavily into the sudden silence. He knew they would have to leave soon, or be caught having to help James with all his wedding gifts. 

“Are you ready to go?” Albus asked Scorpius. Something flashed over the Slytherin’s face--was it disappointment?--but he nodded and let Albus lead him to the kitchen, where they said a last goodbye to the remaining stragglers.  

“So, we should probably apparate back to my place, just so--you know,” Albus hedged. He scrambled for a logical reason to spend even a few more minutes with Scorpius. 

“Of course,” came Scorpius’ smooth reply, and he put his hand in Albus’s. 

With a pop, the burrow disappeared and they reappeared in the alley outside of Albus’ flat. Albus nodded at his door and Scorpius followed him into his flat once again. 

“So,” Albus said, rocking on his heels a bit. “Can I get you anything, or...?” Malcolm came up to them and twined himself between their legs, nearly making Scorpius trip. Albus swallowed a laugh. 

“I don’t know, it’s pretty late,” Scorpius replied. Albus tried to keep the disappointment from his face.

“Okay. Well, consider your debt paid. You don’t owe me anything.”

“Yeah, thanks,” Scorpius said with a small smile. “I should--you know. I guess.” He nodded at Albus and then at his cat and started for the door. 

“Why did you kiss me?” Albus blurted out. Scorpius turned back and raised an eyebrow. “Behind the house,” he clarified.

“Your cousin was watching,” Scorpius replied, but his posture was stiffer now and he avoided looking at Albus. Albus grinned to himself a bit, almost enjoying watching Scorpius squirm.

“See, you say that, but there is no way anyone could have seen us from there. It’s one of the only places on the property that can’t be seen from the house. That’s why I chose it.” 

Albus watched as Scorpius started to flush. He took a step closer. 

“And I’ve been turning it over and over in my head and I can only think of one possible reason why you would have done that.” Stopping in front of Scorpius, Albus noticed distractedly that his eyes perfectly matched his tie. There was no way he hadn’t planned that. 

“So, Malfoy, why would a dignified pureblood such as yourself deign to kiss a Potter completely by choice?” 

Scorpius met his eyes and Albus was shocked to see uncertainty in his gaze. 

“I, erm--” Scorpius faltered, breaking eye contact. Was he really stuttering? Could Malfoys do that? 

Albus reached for Scorpius, stopping his stuttering abruptly. 

“You know what I think?” Albus continued. “I think you fancy me. I think the great Scorpius Malfoy is infatuated with a Potter.” 

“Piss off,” Scorpius glared, starting to push Albus away. “I was just doing you a--”

“Can I kiss you? For real?” Albus interrupted before Scorpius could finish. Scorpius stopped, barely able to get out a brief, bewildered nod before Albus was there, cupping his face in his hands and they were kissing and it was better than anything that had happened that day because this was real. There were no audiences, no whispering cousins to fool, no tricks being played, just the feeling of Scorpius’s mouth on his. 

Albus pulled away with a dazed sort of laugh to the sound of Malcolm meowing loudly. His laughter was infectious and soon the two were chuckling together, petting the aggravated Malcolm and exchanging shy glances. 

“I really enjoyed today,” Albus admitted with a shy smile in the Malfoy’s direction. “Probably more than I should have. A lot more than I should have.” He looked directly at Scorpius. “So, if it wasn’t too horrible for you, I was wondering if you would like to go out sometime. Properly.”

“Potter, you captured me when you answered the door shirtless,” Scorpius answered, pulling him closer. 

“Who knew a Malfoy could be so poetic?” Albus joked, taking Scorpius’ hand and squeezing it slightly.

“I do own a bookstore, you know. I can be quite poetic,” Scorpius groused back, and this time it was he who leaned in first, winding his fingers in Albus’ hair and kissing him so thoroughly that Albus forgot to breathe for a moment. 

“And you know, if you wanted, you could stay over. Again. You wouldn’t have to sleep on the couch this time, either,” Albus offered when they broke apart, a bit breathless. 

“I think that would be quite acceptable,” Scorpius said with a smile. He leaned into the other man, yawning. “Staying over sounds wonderful.” They stood in comfortable silence for a moment until, 

“You don’t snore, do you Potter?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> That's all, folks! I might write an epilogue at some point, but for now, this is finished. If I were to write an epilogue, what would you like to see?


End file.
